Some of you are interested in slowing down and going deeper into your sexuality, your erotic desires and your intimacy with a partner. For those of you who are ready or curious, Tantra is your ticket.

Here for the New Year are Five Principles of Tantric Sex to contemplate:

Breathe
The vast majority of people hold their breath when they are sexually excited or about to have that orgasm. Tantra teaches the opposite: breathing will lengthen and heighten your sensual pleasure and your orgasm.

Relax
Most folks tense up when they are trying to have an orgasm – especially when we use a vibrator. Tantra teaches how to have exquisite orgasms by doing the opposite: relaxing.  Relaxing into pleasure. Breathe. Relax.

Open Your Body to Sensation
When we tense and don’t breathe, we feel fewer sensations, and therefore need more stimulation (like a vibrator or harder cracks on the ass) to become aroused. Tantra teaches the body to become nearly electric with sensation when it is touched.  Breathe. Relax. Feel More Pleasure.

Circulate Erotic Energy throughout Your Body
Why let that large pool of erotic sensation stay in the genital area? That aroused state is energy, and it is delicious. Tantra teaches how to expand that energy beyond your genitals and into the rest of your body. That feel-good pleasure is healing to every cell, as well.  Breathe. Relax. Feel More Pleasure. Have a BodyGasm.

Resources
My two favorite books:
Tantra Between the Sheets by Val Sampson
The Essential Tantra by Kenneth Ray Stubbs and Kyle Spencer

My favorite video:
A two-set by Margot Anand, the French-born and Sorbonne-bred lady who brought the old ancient Tantra tradition to America in a modern form: Secret Keys to the Ultimate Love Life.

My favorite educational Web site: Tantra.com

May your new year find you slowing down, vibing in and turning on with greater depth and pleasure.

Fanny
askfanny@fatalemedia.com

For tips on Tantra and Tantric sex, check out Deborah Sundahl’s DVD, Tantric Journey to Female Orgasm: Unveiling the G-Spot and Female Ejaculation.

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We were in New York not long ago, and over an Italian dinner in Chelsea, a friend told us this story:

“Years ago, I was living down in the West Village with my boyfriend. We had an apartment on Bleecker Street between Christopher and Grove. One Saturday morning we were out grocery shopping. On the way home, climbing up the stairs, we got as far as the second floor. Suddenly we just dropped the grocery bags and did it right there in the hallway of our apartment building. Five minutes! And it was utterly invigorating.”

It struck us that December is a month filled with holiday parties, racing around, shopping, more parties, gift-wrapping, family dinners…did we say parties? When so much holiday activity is swirling around, it’s easy to forget to treat yourself.

Quickies are the perfect escape…and so invigorating, as our friend discovered that day in the hallway.

Give your sweetie a quickie this season, and you won’t regret it!

Need some inspiration? Check out the dykes in the red bathroom in One Night Stand.

Happy Hanukah! Merry Christmas! Enjoy your December!

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. Speaking of quickies, you get free, fast shipping on all Fatale titles. No minimums. Promise. Check out the holiday shipping schedule to make sure you get your gifts on time. 

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Watching The Crash Pad Series Volume 3, this beautiful sex act is as relevant as ever. Not one scene goes by in the new Shine Louise Houston DVD without a good dose of the time-honored staple of dyke sex.

So on that note, we’re reposting this Sex Tips piece, which was originally published in the June 2006 newsletter.

Straight folks: If you haven’t tried it, don’t knock it.

Straight gals: Check out Bend Over Boyfriend for how to finger-fuck your boyfriend.

When we were younger, much younger, finger fucking could upon occasion produce major anxiety—were our nails clipped just so, no hangnails or raspy edges? Would she like it? Should we use a condom? Were there such things as “finger condoms”?

After exploring dozens if not hundreds of lesbian bodies, finger fucking seems as natural as kissing.

One of the best ways to get started is to go down on your girlfriend and lick her good. After she’s wet and open to you, gently ease your finger inside.

If you find you need some lube, the bottle should be next to the bed where you put it before you got all hot and horny with your girlfriend.

Slowly explore the ridges—feel her G spot just inside and along the roof of her vagina? Don’t press it at this point, but if she’s bucking like a rodeo horse, go for it!

As she begins to respond to your finger inside her, you can quit with the cunnilingus—your neck is probably stiff by now anyway—and move up alongside her, and keep stroking her with one finger. You’ll find your rhythm.

Slide a second finger inside. She’ll let you know if she’s open to it. You can try a third finger too, but often, one or two fingers do the trick.

By now you may really need the lube, or not. If she’s wet enough, you may not.

(More sex tips about fisting.)

Many lesbians view finger fucking as a prelude to “real sex” with a strap-on dildo. But it can also be the finger-fucking that brings her right to her first orgasm.

If she likes to have multiple orgasms, then consider more stroking with your fingers or donning your strap-on.

We’re assuming here that you’re both lying down, but try sitting up behind her. You can play with her breasts and nipples, stroke the inside of her thighs and get off on feeling her leaning up against you.

Finger fucking her doggy-style—an act you probably like a lot—is another way to reach her G spot and let her spew.

Just remember: Don’t ram her too hard. Your fingers should be loosely curled around to her natural shape.

You can also ask her if she likes it. Be willing to ease up a little and look at her face, kiss her. Is she enjoying herself?

If you’re the one getting finger fucked, remember to talk to your partner and let her know what you like and what you don’t. You can just say, “That hurts” or “Too hard” or “Harder.”

You can also guide your partner’s hand toward or away from your vagina. Take her wrist and push or pull her where you want her.

You can also finger fuck each other at the same time, a delightful experience if you like mutual, concurrent sex.

What’s your advice? Post a comment here.

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No, we’re not talking about your lover! But your butt, your behind, your bum, your rear, your tush.

Enjoying anal penetration comes naturally to some people. They “get it.” They just naturally relax and enjoy without a care in the world.

But anal sex doesn’t come easy for everybody. There is the taboo of touching, let alone probing, the anus. It’s a private place, to be sure, which makes it hard for some men and women to allow entry.

When Fatale released Bend Over Boyfriend ten years ago – yes, it’s the 10th anniversary of Bend Over Boyfriend, a cause for celebration – Carol Queen and her lover Robert Morgan showed how role reversal can spice up your sex life.

Women, too, can be skittish when it comes to their boyfriends touching or penetrating their rear ends.

When you’re ready to open up and enjoy this delicious sex act, there are some steps you can take to make anal sex a real pleasure:

• –Wash up before you begin any lovemaking. Make sure nothing hurts or is sore down there. If you ever see blood in your stool or coming from your anus, tell your doctor right away.
• –Find pleasure in the familiar. Make love the way you always do. Treat your sweetie with kisses and caresses and find your comfort zone. Have as many orgasms as you like.
• –Touch yourself first. Do you feel happy? Talk to your lover. Do you want to feel your partner’s gentle touch? Tell him or her exactly what the touch feels like.
• –Remind yourself: Nobody’s going to hurt you. This is not about pain. This is about pleasure and exploring new sexual territory.
• –Stop there. Wait for next time to go any further.
• –Next time, repeat the process all over again. Only this time, using some water-based lubricant, allow your lover’s finger to come inside just a little bit.
• –Stop there. Wait until next time to go any further. You can even take a break and wait a couple more times before you try a small dildo, with a condom and lots of lube, of course.

And if your partner is the one who is struggling with anal sex, go slow, be gentle, restrain yourself until your partner feels confident to take it to the next level. 

Ultimately, learning to enjoy anal penetration is about trust. You must trust each other for there to be true pleasure associated with anal sex. Or, we would argue, any other kind of sex. 

Check out Bend Over Boyfriend for more tips on how to enjoy anal sex.

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A friend has been dating a woman for a few months. They took a long trip to China together, they’ve dated, and he has done everything “right.”

Lo and behold, a sad e-mail arrived the other day: “Our union is off.”

Union? What union? Were they thinking of getting married? Already?

Women need time. For as long as we’ve been lesbians (forever), this is one thing we know for certain.

A few months of dinners and movies and taking a trip, even a long one to China, is not enough time for her to feel secure in marriage.

But, you say, what about shotgun weddings? All those couples who get married right out of high school? All those women who get pregnant and marry in order to give their children a stable home?

We won’t deny that sometimes things move fast. But moving fast is not ideal.

Just as men don’t need nearly as much time in bed in order to orgasm, so too, in bed, most women need more time than men in order to orgasm.

Sure women can fake orgasms. Remember that scene in When Harry Met Sally?

But we women don’t want to fake orgasms. Women want real orgasms and real relationships and real romance.

Fanny Fatale has written extensively on men’s lovemaking habits in order to help them stimulate the g-spot and allow their lovers to ejaculate.

When we were watching The Crash Pad Series Volume 2: Unlocked, women take all the time they want in order to orgasm. Their partners indulge them and give them whatever they need or want. Why rush?

As in lovemaking, men need to go slow with women. Women need to go slow with women. That’s what romance is all about.

Is our take on all this one big generalization? Yes. Are there wide swaths of truth here? You tell us.

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Vacations are a great time to experiment with your lover and try new things. Face it: You’re relaxed and happy and not strapped to your workload. When all defenses are down, then you can open up and enjoy. Orgasms you never thought were in you are free to come gushing out.

If you’re on your way out of town—to the beach or mountains or an island spa—or even if you’re just staying home this year, here are some suggestions to break out of the same-old, same-old mold.

• Get out of the bedroom. Especially if you’re on vacation, try the porch or veranda at night. And if you’ve never tried it, the bathtub can be fun. Even the laundry room has potential.



• Get out of the house. Romance your lover with a picnic just for two…or head to your local nightclub and find a dark corner.
• Reverse your roles. Never strapped on a dildo? Go for it, girlfriend. Always wanted to bend over your boyfriend? Get some more rockin’ inspiration with BOB2.
• Put on a show. Masturbate for your sweetie, or put on some sexy music and dance.
• Fulfill your deepest fantasy. Pick up a girl and try a threesome. We love the threeway in Shine Louise Houston’s In Search of the Wild Kingdom. A blast! 

What do you think? What new positions or sex tricks have you tried lately? Click “Post a comment” and tell us!

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

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By Fanny Fatale

Summertime fun means getting wet all over, so let’s get down to it, girls!

Here is the best position for female ejaculation in a large bathtub, hot tub, swimming pool or your local wilderness river (wee hours of the morn’, of course).

This idea arose from the French actresses in my new video, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop

We rented an old, restored hotel room in Paris that used to be a brothel, and the large, sumptuous tub spurred many a creative idea!

The lesbian scene stars French adult idol Lydia St. Martin and up-and-coming, HOT French lesbian adult actress Wendi Delorme. The scene they did in the bathtub for the camera (and our benefit) turned out to be optimum for both partner and student when learning how to female ejaculate.

The fun, however, isn’t just for newbies…

Sit up on the rim of a large bathtub while your partner is sitting in the bathtub in the water. Alternatives to a large bathtub are: edge of pool or hot tub, dock at the lake, kayak on land, incline of a riverbank. The elevated position of the woman about to ejaculate is ideal for the partner who is sitting – usually in various levels of water – because she can see her finger(s) rub the body of the g-spot.

But that’s only half of it. Your partner will actually be able to see the head of your g-spot being pushed out of the vagina when her queen on a special seat ejaculates! Why? Think eye level.

In addition, this is the best position to receive an “arc” of ejaculate right in the face and chest! A delightful reward for your partner’s patience and efforts to assist the fountainous favors to flow!

For those of you who follow my column “Ask Fanny,” we know that one of the biggest obstacles for women to ejaculate freely is not letting go, sometimes due to the fear of urinating.

Moving to a water source minimizes concerns that the woman trying to ejaculate might have about peeing. (This may not work for an urban setting, but if you are doing it near dawn on an urban curb, you probably are not the type who has to learn how to let go!)
 
But for the rest of you more reserved women who are first learning to ejaculate (and even for the diehard veterans) a good reminder is this: Recite your mantra: Prepare to Pee.

This motto works to remove the deeply embedded fear of peeing to help you learn to let go! To repeat: when a women’s G-spot is stimulated, it swells with prostatic fluid (female ejaculate). At that point, it is as difficult for a woman to pee as it is for a man when he is swollen and sexually excited. What is not difficult at that point for either a woman or a man is to ejaculate!

No watering hole? Go outside in the backyard and sit on a chair. Make sure it is a chair that won’t flop over backward when you are in the throws of orgasm, okay? That said, give your partner an eyeful while you sit on the edge of the chair and she sits on a picnic blanket on the ground. Hot afterwards? Drown yourself in a bucket of water à la Jennifer Beals in Flashdance.

To see Wendi and Lydia’s bathtub scene and female ejaculation, check out Female Ejaculation: The Workshop.

Want to see even more positions for fabulous female ejaculations? Check out my straight DVD Female Ejaculation for Couples. You’ll see lots and lots of good positions!

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By Anactoria Jones, accomplished blogger and a true wit.

Rub a dub dub…

…three men in a tub. They tell this to children?

Remember the sex scene at the end Bull Durham with dozens of candles surrounding an antique claw-foot bathtub?

The bathroom is a wonderful place to refresh and relax, to soak away aches out of muscles and get in the mood. To actually have sex there it helps to prepare in advance: getting the right supplies ready makes the real moment go smoothly. Susan Sarandon’s character in that movie never muttered over a pack of wet matches. You can be sure she kept a Bic lighter within easy reach of that tub.

To recreate the Bull Durham magic try a pack of tea light candles. They’re easy to set up and create a magnificent glow. You can also transform mundane to extraordinary with a bouquet of rose petals floating in steaming water.

The tub can be the ideal place to shave a loved one’s pubic hair—it’s the easiest place to rinse off. The secret is to keep it comfortable. Try an inflatable cushion to comfort the neck and shoulders of the person being shaved, or for the person on the receiving end of oral sex in the bathtub. If you’ll be standing up while intertwined in the tub or the shower, use traction strips or a mat for a safe no-slip experience.

In case you transit to the bedroom (many do), tie up long hair with a scrunchy to keep it dry. Stock massage oils on the nightstand for sensuous post-bathing rubs. And have extra towels handy so the only puddles you leave on the sheets are the right ones.

To check out a fabulous bathroom scene, check out One Night Stand or the classic Bathroom Sluts.

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From the director and star of Afterschool Special comes this special Sex Tips & Tricks column.

Superstar
by Royal Pink NYC Indie Band

Sure, we do it for the music. But who doesn’t love groupies? And the truth is, you don’t need to bother with booking gigs and lugging gear to play out a good, old-fashioned groupie scene. 

Time to get into character. If you’re the star, how about some tight, pleather pants à la Joan Jett? Or maybe you’re in more of a Stevie Nicks mood? Those floaty head scarves can come in handy if your groupie needs to be subdued. 

If you’re the groupie, are you going for a classy, Pamela Des Barres style? Or are you backstage at a Motley Crue concert, looking trashy with your teased bangs?  

Fingers and tongues are nice. But a flashy, glam rock dildo is a good idea, too. This one is silver glitter: http://store.babeland.com/dildos-silicone/woody

Are you experienced, dear groupie? Or is this your first time? Perhaps you just came out of the closet and are backstage at a Melissa Etheridge concert, desperate to show her how much the music has meant to you? 

Good groupies pride themselves on giving good head. While there’s plenty of advice out there on this subject, one essential component is often overlooked: enthusiasm. Beg for it, moan, rub yourself.  Stop for a second to say, “I can’t believe this is happening!  I’m your biggest fan!”   

Don’t forget to set the scene.  Are you backstage in a dressing room?  On a tour bus?  In a hotel suite?  No matter where you are, rock star protocol requires you to trash the place at least a little bit.   

This can also be a fun scenario to play in public. Scout out a bar or a restaurant with a one-seater and you’re set. “Meet me in the bathroom after the show…” 

Don’t forget that sometimes you have to fuck the roadie before you can even get backstage. Also, sometimes groupies bring a friend. 

A little bit of sleaze is mandatory for maximum authenticity. Did your groupie flash you from the front row, throw panties, beg you to sign a naughty body part? Do you videotape your tour bus conquests and screen them for your band mates later on? 

Groupies, never touch the gear without permission! That is, unless you want to get in big trouble. (And you just might…)

***

Royal Pink is the coolest girl band playing the LES in New York City. And don’t forget to check out their hot lead singer, Karen, who stars in and directs Afterschool Special.

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It’s springtime here in the Northern Hemisphere, and we were thinking of flowers. How lovely the gardens are beginning to look, now that it’s April.

One of the most romantic women we know keeps pots of flowering plants year-round near her bathtub, an old porcelain behemoth that is deep and satisfying to just soak in alone. She hangs lace curtains in the window, which reminds us of Ireland, and keeps waterproof sex toys at hand.

Danger: Don’t bring your plug-in vibrator into the bath with you, okay? Very dangerous.

Old porcelain bathtubs held the heat of the water well. You didn’t get cold after ten minutes. But hey, we’ve got Jacuzzis and hot tubs, hot springs and even private spas now. The old ones also have straighter sides so you can sit up and play with yourself, or have your girlfriend finger your love spot until you come.

Water sometimes makes it hard to get properly lubed as quick as you would, say, on a bed. But take your time, and your natural juices will flow before you know it. You can also straddle your tub and let your girlfriend lie in the water underneath you. Very sexy indeed.

Some people prefer showers for sex, and the only thing we’re careful of while doing it in the shower is slipping and falling.  There’s a hot scene between the star oil wrestlers in Take Her Down.

Another sex-in-water sex flick we have is the classic Hungry Hearts. Pepper and Reeva have a great lovemaking scene in a sunken Japanese tub overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

So here’s the challenge: Send us your bathtub and shower sex scenes. We’ll select the best and post them on the site. If your flick is selected, we’ll call or e-mail you first, and you’ll need a model release if we use it. Just print it out and have your friends sign a copy before you shoot.

You can shoot on a camera, your cell phone or any other method that appeals to you.

And hey, if we do a new DVD, we’ll pay you for it too. See Real Lesbian Sex for more details on payment.

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