Our friend Deborah Sundahl, known also as “Ask Fanny,” is our very own female-ejaculation expert who knows a thing or two about women’s satisfaction in bed. After all, she teaches women and couples how to expand their relationships and how to achieve sexual satisfaction they couldn’t have dreamed of before.

Curious, we asked Deborah what questions she gets most often about sex. In response, she sent us a new “Ask Fanny” column.

• What is “the urge to female ejaculate”?
• Why can’t a woman have G-spot orgasms each time she and her partner make love?

These are the questions Deborah addresses in her Q&A “The Urge to Female Ejaculate,” and in her female-ejaculation workshops.

Yours in good love and sex,

Christi and Nan

nan@fatalemedia.com

christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. Deborah’s next female ejaculation for couples workshop is to be held in Seattle, June 1-3, 2012. You can also experience one of Deborah’s workshops in Female Ejaculation: The Workshop.

P.P.S. Check out all Fatale’s DVDs.

Dear Fanny,

My partner ejaculates now and then, and we are wondering how to make it happen all the time. We have been together about 12 years now, and she often feels “uncomfortable” in her pelvis area after lovemaking.

Jacob from Olympia, WA

Dear Jacob,

You are not alone in wanting to know how to make female ejaculation happen all the time, or at least when you’d like it to. This is a common question for many couples. The uncomfortable feeling of pressure that she is experiencing after you make love is female ejaculate that has not had a chance to be released. What to do?

First off, remember it is okay if a woman does not ejaculate every time she makes love. To put that kind of pressure on her—really, on both of you—is to run the risk of making the female ejaculate stop altogether, which it will.

Next, here are some of the possible reasons why your partner is not ejaculating every time the two of you make love:

• Oftentimes, women mistake the urge to ejaculate as the urge to pee and therefore clamp down on the urge to ejaculate.

• Women don’t always trust that this is indeed female ejaculate, and therefore (almost instinctively), they don’t let go, physically and emotionally.

• Most women are not aware of the many sensations inside the vagina, including the G-spot’s erotic sensations. In order to ejaculate, a woman needs to be more aware of these varied sensations. It may seem counterintuitive, but this lack of awareness actually can lead a woman to control her ejaculate so it won’t release; she holds back; she doesn’t trust the urge to ejaculate.

The best way that I have determined from teaching my female-ejaculation and the G-spot workshops for many years now is to do a meditation massage session, at least five of these in the space of 2-3 weeks.

G-spot massage allows a woman to connect with the vaginal and G-spot sensations of pleasure. This is not about masturbating per se, stimulating the G-spot to pleasure; this is about getting acquainted via touch with one’s G-spot in a deeper way than just knowing how to stimulate it to create pleasure.

The end result is of course more pleasure and more control in a good way over the ability to female ejaculate.

And, just as importantly but far more overlooked, you and your partner benefit from gaining an intimate knowledge with what the G-spot feels like when it is not in high-gear, erotic performance mode.

By trying massage, women feel so much more connected to their G-spots and to the “urge to ejaculate.” Through this process, a woman becomes conscious of her ability to control her ejaculate. This means she no longer holds back, but understands how to ejaculate whenever she wants (or not)!

Next time, we’ll discuss how to massage your G-spot. Stay tuned!

Fanny

P.S. Deborah Sundahl teaches these skills to couples in her annual weekend workshop for couples, taking place this year on a lovely island just west of Seattle, June 1-3, 2012.

P.P.S. Experience a workshop with Deborah Sundahl’s bestselling Female Ejaculation: The Workshop and Female Ejaculation for Couples.

Last month, the notion of not watching porn was mostly a nonstarter when we wondered if you needed a reason to watch porn.

Check out the results.

This month, it’s up to you to guess where we were when we came up with this sex poll question:

When do you masturbate?

Vote now! The poll is on Fatale’s home page and is completely anonymous.

We’ll give you the results next month.

Until next time, we wish you deliciously hot sex,

Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com

P.S. The superb Dylan provides one of our favorite masturbation scenes in Shine Louise Houston’s The Crash Pad Series Volume 3 – Through the Keyhole.

Here’s what we suggested for a “first lesbian porn video”:

1. Coming Home. This romantic bestseller by Carolyn Caizzi features a big curvy butch/femme couple you won’t soon forget.

2. The Crash Pad. There’s an element of mystery in this bestseller, with the shiver of voyeurism. Felice Newman wrote that The Crash Pad “features the hottest lesbian sex scenes I’ve ever had the pleasure of viewing.”

Then we’d recommend any of these:

3. One Night Stand. The club scene, with great music. Those French dykes know what they’re doing! AVN wrote, “[Emilie] Jouvet, like Goddard before her, dares to capture lightning in a bottle.”

4. Sugar High Glitter City. Glam fun, playful and fanciful.

5. Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels is another good “first” choice if you like it rough. Indeed it’s a Fatale Media bestseller and has a variety of sexy scenes.

What would you recommend for a “first-time” video? Click Post a Comment below and let us know what you think.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi

nan@fatalemedia.com

christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. See more about and read reviews of our favorite dyke videos.

I am so grateful to Fatale Media. Just received my DVDs yesterday and “Female Ejaculation: The Workshop” has already changed three women’s lives!

We were so ready for this information, and now we are going to share it with everyone we know!! I watched the first 47 minutes and then went to the shower, used my dildo for 30 seconds and ejaculated!

I have had an ejaculation before, but now I understand how to do it! Hooray! thanks thanks thanks!!!

You are very welcome!

Changing women’s lives—for the better—makes us very, very happy.

Deborah Sundahl’s work on female ejaculation and the G-spot has been groundbreaking and like no other.

In addition to Female Ejaculation: The Workshop, check out another of Deborah’s videos about how to female ejaculate: Female Ejaculation for Couples.

“In the Spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.”

So wrote Alfred, Lord Tennyson, the great Victorian poet, in “Locksley Hall.”

Here are our favorite frolics to celebrate springtime, good for lovers, good for romance, good for hookups!

• Corny as it sounds, our favorite way to welcome spring is to take a walk. Hold hands. Sip an iced coffee along the way. Say hello to the neighbors…or not…

• Have lunch at the beach. Pretend it’s your first date.

• No beach in sight? Find a low-lit Italian place and talk dirty to each other. It’s even more fun during the day.

• Borrow a friend’s dungeon. Okay, everybody doesn’t have a friend with a dungeon. But making love in somebody else’s “crash pad” is terribly sexy. Bring your own toys.

• Single and randy? Pick up a girl. Hit your favorite bar or coffee shop, make contact and take her home. Indulge yourself in a one-night stand.

• Go dancing. All that heat and sweat and oozing energy feeds the libido like nothing else.

• Do yourself. To celebrate springtime, you have all the power in your hot little hand.

Don’t’ forget to post your sexy moments on Facebook. Fatale Media’s Facebook wall welcomes your posts too. Be coy. We love a tease!

Happy spring!

Yours in good love and sex,

Christi and Nan
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. Don’t forget to check out Live Sex Show starring Jiz Lee and Nina Hartley—a springtime inspiration if there ever was one!

P.P.S. Check out all Fatale’s DVDs.

After California, she heads up the West Coast to Oregon and Washington. More information about these free, informative lectures is available at IsisMedia.org .

In addition to these lectures, there are one-day G-spot workshops for women. These all-day workshops are very reasonable at $95.

Female Ejaculation Workshops:

April 7, 2012
Sonoma County, CA
9:00 am – 5:00 pm Cost $95
Contact: Deborah Sundahl

April 22, 2012
Portland, OR
10:00 am – 5:00 pm
Cost $95
Lotus Heart Center

For more information, contact: Deborah Sundahl

Later in the year Deborah is headed to Germany. Stay tuned for more information!

P.S. Deborah’s bestselling DVDs Female Ejaculation: The Workshop and Female Ejaculation for Couples give you a great way to experience a G-spot workshop from the comfort of your home.

This month, we’re curious:

Do you need a reason to watch porn?

Vote now! The poll is on Fatale’s home page and is completely anonymous. We’ll give you the results next month.

Until next time, we wish you deliciously hot sex,

Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com

P.S. For the third month in a row, the bestselling lesbian favorite is…drum roll, please…Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels. Clearly a butch/femme favorite!

An e-mail came through saying, “Butch Sightings (@butchsightings) is now following you on Twitter.” Logging in to Twitter @FataleMedia, we returned the follow and proceeded to butchsightings.com. Whoa! Nice blog.

Started as an “social interactive art project” and written by a “fat queer sort-of Jewish white femme from the West Coast,” Butch Sightings was inspired by “butches & studs (females and/or women who appear masculine, queer, old school, dyke, bulldagger, aggressive [AG] and other terms to be added.”

The photos are great, and we hope one day this photographin’ femme comes to take a picture of Nan!

Here’s a picture from last Saturday of Nan on the Big Vibe—with Big Vibe owner Kim Airs of Grand Opening playing the instigator. After this we headed to the beach, Paradise Cove in Malibu…heaven in springtime.

Saturday evening found us at the beautiful home of Jeanne Cordova and Lynn H. Ballen in Los Angeles. It had been many years since Christi had seen them, and the first time Nan had met them. Jeanne is the author of the critically acclaimed When We Were Outlaws (Spinsters Ink, 2011), which we quite enjoyed. Here are some reviews of the book at Jeanne’s blog, This Lesbian Life.

It was a lovely weekend in Los Angeles. Next time we’ll plan a visit to Oakland to visit another exquisite butch, our friend Jackie Strano.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

P.S. Jackie Strano is the star, with director and femme extraordinaire Shar Rednour, of  the sexy lesbian DVD Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels.

For the second month in a row, Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels–it’s a double DVD–has been Fatale’s #1 bestseller.

There is no question that Jackie Strano and Shar Rednour’s S.I.R. Video and the one and only Shine Louise Houston feature more butches in their movies than other directors.

It was hard to pick our favorites, but here goes—our Top 5 Favorite Butch Porn Movies:

1. The Crash Pad. By now the standard-bearer and the place to begin if you’re new to the movies of award-winning Shine Louise Houston. Winner of “Hottest Dyke Sex Scene” from the Feminist Porn Awards, the DVD was also named “Best Lesbian Porn” by LesbianLife.About.com.

There are so many beautiful butches in here, and such exquisite butch-femme sex, we can watch this again and again and again…It’s a turn-on every time.

2. Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels. Hard Love stars the gorgeous butch Jackie Strano and her lover and femme-in-arms Shar Rednour. Also named “Best Lesbian Porn” by LesbianLife.About.com, they said:

“This super sexy double DVD from S.I.R. videos features a multiracial cast of real queer girls, plenty of dildo action, real orgasms…”

3. Champion. Another winner from Shine Louise Houston, Champion stars Syd Blakovich and takes us right into the Mixed Martial Arts ring, up against sexy, feisty, passionate Dallas. Fleshbot wrote:

“‘Champion’ delivers, and it delivers in style. The film follows the story of fighting champion Jessie (played by newly discovered Crush Object Syd Blakovich), a dyke Casanova who’s conquered as many women out of the ring as she has in. But despite her history of success, things start to get rocky for Jessie. Will her hard dyke image ruin her career?”

4. Full Load. Director Barbara DGenevieve trains her camera on butches with an unerring eye–she loves the butch bottoms, the butches who love their femmes, the butches who aren’t afraid to play.

“Butch Fire” is a scene that dives right into the butch-butch rough-and-tumble, with no holds barred.

“This is a tasty video,” wrote Greta Christina in On Our Backs. “Butch and FTM fans, load up.”

5. The Crash Pad Series Volume 2. It was really hard to pick among the Crash Pad Series DVDs…Shine Louise Houston peppers her casts with butches who are so handsome and self-possessed it’s hard to say which one is “best.” Jake and Wilder, way to go!

But after The Crash Pad, we love The Crash Pad Series Volume 2 for its real butch action. Butch-butch and butch-femme scenes make this a must-see!