 | 
Fatale Media Newsletter April 2005 |
|
|
In This Issue:
|
Earth is Crammed with Heaven
|
|
Dear Friend,
It’s springtime here in the Northern Hemisphere. Despite the snow and rain through much of North America, drought in the Pacific Northwest, the daffodils are coming up, the hyacinths, even the tulips.
Flirting is a subject that doesn’t get much airplay, even though we see enough flirting on TV shows and batted eyelashes batting their way into our minds. That’s because real flirting—the kind that makes your heart flutter and think, “Maybe, maybe this is the one”—is so hard to come by.
On Easter three people brought us flowers. A friend from New York arrived first with a potted plant sprouting beautiful lavender gray campanula. A porn star brought a potted cactus with three thistle-like hot pink blooms. A blues singer, a New Zealander by birth, arrived with cut pink and white flowers we put in a vase.
The weather was warm and breezy. After brunch we ate chocolate bunnies.
The conversation started simply enough—something about a National Geographic special on TV—and suddenly it blossomed into a discovery of shared world travels, stories of women in India carving toothpicks, walking from New Zealand around the world, a brief discussion of the Huns, the Crusades, the Pope, Terri Schiavo, living simply, what it means to live without electricity.
All the while, two women who’d never met before, the porn star and the blues singer, found themselves drawn to each other. In fact they were flirting. Pretty serious conversation for flirtations, you might say, yet there they were.
This was no love-at-first-sight encounter like ours was. In fact our anniversary was exactly eight years ago April 4th. We’re still in love and couldn’t be happier.
But it struck us that from underneath the surface of this Easter Sunday conversation, amazing stories and experiences bubbled up and fueled the flirtation. It was magic to watch.
A line from Elizabeth Barrett Browning arrived in an e-mail not long after:
“Earth is crammed with heaven.”
Yours in good sex and love,
Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com
|
|
|
 |
|
Judging from the March poll results you all like oral sex...more than any other kind of sex.
Going down on your girlfriend seems easy once you’ve had some practice—a few years is a good start—but if you’re new to going down on your girlfriend, or you have a new girlfriend or have never tried it and want to, there are a few tips to help you get comfortable and dive in.
We’ve talked a lot about communication in this column, and it applies here too. Find out if she likes it. How? You can edge your hand southward, letting your mouth follow, trailing kisses down her belly.
Glance up to see her expression. Is she grimacing? Does it look like she’s grinning and bearing it? Is she smiling? Is she looking down at you?
Murmur sweetly, “Is this okay?”
If she says yes or nods in the affirmative, you’re on your way.
Touch her first to see if she’s wet, then ease your mouth down and simply kiss her. You don’t have to start off like a starving suckling. Gently run your tongue around the shaft of her clitoris.
She may taste sweet or not. Don’t worry about that now. You want to juice her up some more to get fresh juices flowing. Her scent may change too as her excitement increases.
Some women like to have the “hood” of the clitoris pulled back; some don’t. Test the waters, so to speak, and see if she likes it or not. Ask her if you’re not sure.
Some women like to have a finger inserted while you’re sucking and swirling your tongue around her clit. Nudge one finger toward her opening. If she spreads her legs and says yes, then go for it.
The sensations of having your clit licked and being finger-fucked are very different, so keep your attention on her clit. When she’s ready to come, you should feel her vaginal walls squeeze tight then relax. Her clit will probably get stiff and hard.
Tease her a bit but not for too long, especially if you want to fuck later. Let her come now.
A note on positions. In straight girl/girl porn videos shot (usually) by men, you’ll notice the neck-wrenching contortions the licker has to go through for the camera to “get the shot.”
In real lesbian porn, you oftentimes just see the back of the head. This is because real cunnilingus takes real dedication and attention—nose in pussy.
Good examples of real lesbians in action are Hungry Hearts and Take Her Down! Lesbian Erotic Oil Wrestling Party.
But don’t be fooled into thinking you won’t get off on the real thing—it’s sexier than ever to watch the real thing, and listen as real orgasms spew forth.
Happy sucking!
E-mail your tips and tricks to christi@fatalemedia.com. You could be published here!
|
|
|
|
|
Many of you know g-spot expert Deborah Sundahl as Fanny Fatale. In “Ask Fanny,” an exclusive column created just for this newsletter, she answers your questions about female ejaculation and the G-spot.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hi, Fanny,
My name is Lisa (called Lis by my love). I would love to know more about Gspot. I have your book, which was given to me by my love. I would love to experience Gspot. Your book is called Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot. I love the book and it is very very informative...and easy to understand.
I am reading your book page by page and I even passed your score tests about the PC and did the PC muscle flexibility. I found my Gspot...but I can't seem to ejaculate. I tried to ejaculate without orgasm. All I got was wetness and the urge to pee.
Before I even knew what Gspot was...I may have ejaculated or not. Because during masturbation or during sex, I was always wet and the sheets would have stains. Even not when masturbating or having sex, I was always wet when I get arousal...I do gushing. Why is that? It is so awkward but my love loves it. And I love it so I would like to gather all the tools to ejaculate.
I hope I make any sense at all.
Lis
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Dear Lis,
You are a diligent student! You followed the instructions and then you “got wetness and the urge to pee.”
CONGRATULATIONS! The urge to pee is, as I said in my book, the urge to ejaculate—assuming you have truly aroused yourself and stimulated your G-spot to fill with ejaculate fluid.
What is unclear is: did you get the “urge to pee” first or the “wetness” first? Also, it would be helpful to know if the “wetness” you normally have is clear and very wet, as if one did wet her pants, or if it is vaginal lubricant that is more creamy and slick? But that question aside, judging from your letter where you say, “I was always wet and the sheets would have stains” and “I do gushing, even not when masturbating or during sex,” I believe it is highly likely you may be one of the few women who ejaculate quite naturally.
In my book, I quote Regnier de Graaf, the 17th-century Dutch anatomist who is called the “father of the female prostate” because he dissected and diagramed it way back then. He said the female prostate fluid (female ejaculate), “in libidinous women, gushes out at the sight of a handsome man!” I've always loved that quote!
That quote embodies the true nature of feminine sexuality, which the G-spot and female ejaculation represent, and that is the ability to be so connected to the “heart” of our sexuality (our G-spots) that we can let that fountain flow just by being turned on! No lengthy stimulation or penetration required!
If you are that able to “let your feminine fountain flow,” then you are a Goddess! Goddess Aphrodite no less, who stood for sexual pleasure as a wonderful, natural and sacred thing.
We hear about how natural sex is quite often these days, and may think we are open and loving our bodies, but that is a tricky thing because the taboos of shame and guilt from our modern culture go so very deep.
Therefore, it is ALWAYS beneficial to really ask ourselves: "How deeply do I really believe in the beauty of my body and lovemaking with my partner? How much do I still hold back because I believe deep down that my body and sex is ugly or bad?"
It's astonishing how really deep those thoughts about our lovely female sexual nature can go. Keep gushing, Lis, and hold the bar for the rest of us!
Fanny
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
