Dear Friend,

Loving yourself first, and taking pride in masturbating for the sheer joy of it, deserves a celebration.

(Scroll down for tips on masturbating with a partner, Fatale DVDs that feature lesbian and G-spot masturbation and the new poll about masturbation.)

May is National Masturbation Month, and our friend Carol Queen is touting the 2007 Masturbate-a-Thon in San Francisco on May 26, 2007. You can watch their Webcast, pledge or sponsor a masturbator, spectate or join in the fun yourself at the Porn Palace. Just go to the Masturbate-a-Thon Web site and sign up!

The amazing Nina Hartley - star of Fatale’s bestseller Suburban Dykes - will be Mistress of Ceremonies.

And it’s all for a good cause, the Center for Sex and Culture cofounded by Carol Queen, Robert Lawrence and the Masturbation Diva herself, Betty Dodson.

Founded in 1995 by Good Vibrations after former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders was forced to resign in 1994 for stating that masturbation “is perhaps something that should be taught” to young people as a sex option, National Masturbation Month has gone strong ever since.

Yes, love yourself! It’s safe, healthy and utterly enjoyable.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

Masturbating side-by-side with your lover can be one of the sexiest entrees to lovemaking or a just a great way to relax and enjoy each other without the pressure to perform.

You can masturbate while your partner watches, or watch as your lover masturbates. Or you can both just lie there and enjoy listening as her breathing quickens.

Some couples like to get in the mood by watching a sexy DVD. Other couples talk dirty to each other.

Use your vibrator or your hand. You can also lie on your belly and ride a pillow, which works great especially if your vibrator is plugged in and humming.

Rules or no rules? Some couples like to have set guidelines. Do you have to ask permission? Do you like being touched while you’re masturbating? If you’re not sure, just roll with it.

If your lover touches you—perhaps stroking your breast or belly, perhaps putting her hand on top of yours while you masturbate—see how you feel. Is it a pleasant sensation? Distracting? Do you like it? Talk with your lover about the experience.

If you’re shy, the best way to try masturbating with your partner is to get under the covers, turn off the lights and close your eyes. Relax and let your fantasies take you where you will. Touch yourself and let yourself feel the sensations of skin and hair. Then gradually touch yourself between your legs and explore.

Masturbating together in the shower or bathtub can be a real turn-on, too. You’ll need some lube, no doubt, so make sure you’ve got some nearby.

If you’ve got a Jacuzzi, hot tub or sauna, position yourself over one of those jets of water and tease your lover by masturbating for her. She can choose to just watch or please herself over another water jet.

Most of all, have fun! If it’s not fun, then there’s no sense continuing. Instead, ask your lover for what you want. Talk to her. Find out what’s holding her back or why she doesn’t like to see you masturbate.

In honor of National Masturbation Month, we thought we’d give you a rundown of Fatale DVDs that feature masturbation. After all, watching porn is a great inspiration!

Suburban Dykes - Nina and Pepper have a way sexy side-by-side lesbian masturbation scene before Miss Sharon Mitchell arrives! 30 minutes. $34.95

Special Delivery - Ooh, a sexy solo scene with lesbian Deb Shooter. New from Carolyn Caizzi. 81 minutes. $29.95.

Take Her Down! Intercut between group lesbian oil wresting scenes, we find one beautifully shaved dyke masturbating...is she fantasizing or remembering? 60 minutes. $39.95

Masturbating to G-spot Orgasms DVDs
Clips - Watch Fanny Fatale masturbate to a gushing G-spot orgasm for her butch lover. 30 minutes. $34.95

How to Female Ejaculate - Learn how to masturbate like a pro, bringing on amazing squirting orgasms all by yourself. 60 minutes. $34.95

Female Ejaculation for Couples shows you how to female ejaculate—using just your hand—for your lover. 60 minutes. $29.95

Many of you know g-spot expert Deborah Sundahl as Fanny Fatale. In “Ask Fanny,” an exclusive column created just for this newsletter, she answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

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Dear Fanny,

I just read your website about how women ejaculate, and when my boyfriend and I have sex, I'm telling him that I got off and he doesn’t believe me. Because he thinks that all woman have.... like a fountain of water. When we had sex and I got off, all that happened was my pelvic area tightened, and I got very wet, but because I didn’t get off like a fountain, he doesn’t believe me. Can you please send me an email, and tell me if it isn't getting off then what is it?

Thanks so much,

Ashley

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Dear Ashley,

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by “got off.” Do you mean “had an orgasm” and/or “ejaculated”?

Whether you have an orgasm, ejaculate with an orgasm or ejaculate without an orgasm (all three combinations are possible), your experience, and not his interpretation of it, is the reality and the most important.

If you feel you are ejaculating, then yes, most women do not gush like a fountain when they ejaculate (or have an orgasm, or both).

Most women do not ejaculate like a fountain because most women cannot even ejaculate with something in their vagina, like a toy, fingers or cock. Some women CAN ejaculate with something in their vagina, but then the ejaculate will just “flood” out, perhaps what you mean by “all wet.”

Either way, if you say you “got off” having an orgasm, you had an orgasm, period. And, like most women, you didn’t ejaculate with this orgasm; but that still means you had an orgasm, of course. This is what most women have been doing for the last century, so you are quite normal. However, if you “get wet” and you know you HAVE ejaculated (as well as had an orgasm - or not had an orgasm, whichever the case may be), then, yes, dear, you have certainly and are certainly ejaculating - fountains are pretty and may be good for the male ego, but as we know, floods can change a landscape.

Tell your boyfriend to start listening to you, or you might change the landscape yourself in the bedroom.

Keep gushing!

Fanny

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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.

We roamed around and found some good quotes in honor of masturbation.

“Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.”
Woody Allen

“My entire career has been confronted with censorship. You can't talk about masturbation in America without confronting censorship.”
Betty Dodson

“The good thing about masturbation is that you don’t have to dress up for it.”
Truman Capote

“I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.”
Tallulah Bankhead

And our personal favorite:
“If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.”
George Carlin

(Special thanks to The Quote Garden, Brainy Quote, ThinkExist and Masturbation Quotes.)

“Your Letters” will return next month. So write to us!

In last month’s poll, we asked: Are sex toys a part of your lovemaking?

Sex toys appear to be optional. We received 179 votes, and although many voters use sexy toys as they see fit, an equal number use them all the time as have never used sex toys but want to.

See the full results of the April 2007 poll here.

For National Masturbation Month, we’re taking up Dr. Joycelyn Elders’ question again. Should masturbation be taught to teenagers as a sexual option?

Vote now! The poll is on Fatale’s home page.

And we’ll give you the results next month.

Until then, we wish you dazzling hot sex.

Nan and Christi
www.fatalemedia.com