From the director and star of Afterschool Special comes this special Sex Tips & Tricks column.
Superstar
by Royal Pink NYC Indie Band
Sure, we do it for the music. But who doesn’t love groupies? And the truth is, you don’t need to bother with booking gigs and lugging gear to play out a good, old-fashioned groupie scene.
Time to get into character. If you’re the star, how about some tight, pleather pants à la Joan Jett? Or maybe you’re in more of a Stevie Nicks mood? Those floaty head scarves can come in handy if your groupie needs to be subdued.
If you’re the groupie, are you going for a classy, Pamela Des Barres style? Or are you backstage at a Motley Crue concert, looking trashy with your teased bangs?
Fingers and tongues are nice. But a flashy, glam rock dildo is a good idea, too. This one is silver glitter: http://store.babeland.com/dildos-silicone/woody
Are you experienced, dear groupie? Or is this your first time? Perhaps you just came out of the closet and are backstage at a Melissa Etheridge concert, desperate to show her how much the music has meant to you?
Good groupies pride themselves on giving good head. While there’s plenty of advice out there on this subject, one essential component is often overlooked: enthusiasm. Beg for it, moan, rub yourself. Stop for a second to say, “I can’t believe this is happening! I’m your biggest fan!”
Don’t forget to set the scene. Are you backstage in a dressing room? On a tour bus? In a hotel suite? No matter where you are, rock star protocol requires you to trash the place at least a little bit.
This can also be a fun scenario to play in public. Scout out a bar or a restaurant with a one-seater and you’re set. “Meet me in the bathroom after the show…”
Don’t forget that sometimes you have to fuck the roadie before you can even get backstage. Also, sometimes groupies bring a friend.
A little bit of sleaze is mandatory for maximum authenticity. Did your groupie flash you from the front row, throw panties, beg you to sign a naughty body part? Do you videotape your tour bus conquests and screen them for your band mates later on?
Groupies, never touch the gear without permission! That is, unless you want to get in big trouble. (And you just might…)
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Royal Pink is the coolest girl band playing the LES in New York City. And don’t forget to check out their hot lead singer, Karen, who stars in and directs Afterschool Special.