Q&A: Ask Fanny – How to Have an Orgasm

Deborah Sundahl Female Ejaculation ExpertG-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

Dear Fanny,

I am 20 years old and have a girlfriend, but I can’t orgasm. She has been really good at helping me try, but I still can’t. I don’t like doing it myself either; it just doesn’t feel good.  I wish I could have an orgasm, but I don’t know what to do and feel I should reach out for some help now.


Dallas, TX

Dear Renee,

I suggest that you make a concerted effort to have your orgasm by yourself first, and give your partner a rest. It is hard on the relationship and a lot of work for the partner, without the reward or pleasure. Better to keep your relationship free of a hard burden that is mostly your affair anyway.

What to do? You can start with these three things:

1. Read this wonderful book on how to have an orgasm. Becoming Orgasmic by Julia Heiman and Joseph LoPiccolo–here’s the Powell’s Books link–takes you step by step through the elements of female orgasm and guides you to fitting sexuality into other areas of your life.

Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross2. Check out this new video, Betty Dodson’s Body Sex Workshop.

Betty Dodson is called the Mother of Masturbation because since the 1960s, she has been teaching women how to have an orgasm. Back then, very few woman had orgasms, and it was a feminist mission to change that sad fact. Now 83 years old, she is still going strong! Aided by her younger business partner, Carlin Ross, they just finished another video of Betty’s famous workshop teaching women to ejaculate. Enjoy and learn!

3. Lastly, ask yourself what is it about touching your body that bothers you? Breath and relax into the touch. Notice what keeps you from relaxing into the touch. Be very aware of what crosses your mind, or what images comes up. This is your issue. Take this and work with it, either through simple awareness that this is the problem, or perhaps the help of a therapist.  But first, read the book and watch the video!

Pleasure will be yours! Give yourself time and permission, that’s all.


Female Ejaculation the WorkshopP.S. Check out Female Ejaculation the Workshop by Deborah Sundahl.

Watch three gorgeous women learn to stimulate the G-spot and achieve beautiful orgasms in a workshop setting.


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