Posts Tagged ‘Betty Dodson’

Q&A: Ask Fanny – How to Have an Orgasm

Saturday, February 18th, 2012

Deborah Sundahl Female Ejaculation ExpertG-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

Dear Fanny,

I am 20 years old and have a girlfriend, but I can’t orgasm. She has been really good at helping me try, but I still can’t. I don’t like doing it myself either; it just doesn’t feel good.  I wish I could have an orgasm, but I don’t know what to do and feel I should reach out for some help now.


Dallas, TX

Dear Renee,

I suggest that you make a concerted effort to have your orgasm by yourself first, and give your partner a rest. It is hard on the relationship and a lot of work for the partner, without the reward or pleasure. Better to keep your relationship free of a hard burden that is mostly your affair anyway.

What to do? You can start with these three things:

1. Read this wonderful book on how to have an orgasm. Becoming Orgasmic by Julia Heiman and Joseph LoPiccolo–here’s the Powell’s Books link–takes you step by step through the elements of female orgasm and guides you to fitting sexuality into other areas of your life.

Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross2. Check out this new video, Betty Dodson’s Body Sex Workshop.

Betty Dodson is called the Mother of Masturbation because since the 1960s, she has been teaching women how to have an orgasm. Back then, very few woman had orgasms, and it was a feminist mission to change that sad fact. Now 83 years old, she is still going strong! Aided by her younger business partner, Carlin Ross, they just finished another video of Betty’s famous workshop teaching women to ejaculate. Enjoy and learn!

3. Lastly, ask yourself what is it about touching your body that bothers you? Breath and relax into the touch. Notice what keeps you from relaxing into the touch. Be very aware of what crosses your mind, or what images comes up. This is your issue. Take this and work with it, either through simple awareness that this is the problem, or perhaps the help of a therapist.  But first, read the book and watch the video!

Pleasure will be yours! Give yourself time and permission, that’s all.


Female Ejaculation the WorkshopP.S. Check out Female Ejaculation the Workshop by Deborah Sundahl.

Watch three gorgeous women learn to stimulate the G-spot and achieve beautiful orgasms in a workshop setting.


Sex Tips: Sex for One for Two

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Masturbating with your partner is a tried-and-true “sex tip” said to get you in the mood for penetration. But we think solo sex can be fun when one partner merely watches. Something interesting happens. The sexual energy changes; the dynamics between the two of you change.

Masturbating while your lover watches can be scary at first. You’re completely vulnerable. Whether you’re in a hot tub with your pussy up against the streaming jets of water or whether you’re lying in bed with the vibrator turned on high, you have to force yourself into your body, purely into your own space, allowing yourself to really feel what you feel. To let your clit take over.

But once you let go, the trust seems to deepen…and okay, we’ll admit it, the desire for more–including penetration–often takes over.

What’s the best way to begin? Talking to your lover is always good advice, but having a vibrator at the ready also helps.

Try pulling it out and smiling suggestively. Let the little thing buzz. If you’ve got music or a video on, the buzzing won’t make it seem like you’ve taken up beekeeping.

If your partner wants to participate, just say, “I’ll be all yours in a moment, honey. I just want to try something different.”

Watching is a great turn-on. You can talk dirty, or caress your lover’s face or breasts without distracting her.

Nina Hartley and PepperThere’s some fabulous porn that can inspire a solo scene with your partner too. Suburban Dykes has a wonderful side-by-side masturbation scene with Nina Hartley and Pepper together on a phone sex line. Whoa, mama!

We’re also partial to the Mystery Masturbator in Take Her Down!–explicit and actually a good how-to for those of you who feel squeamish or unsure how to actually get things going down there.

If you’re into anal, we recommend Greta’s vignette in Clips with an anal self-loving scene that will open you up for sure!

Our friend Cory Silverberg has compiled some straightforward how-to advice at And don’t forget our good friend Betty Dodson, the queen of masturbation and author of the classic Sex For One.

One last word of advice, let yourself go. Don’t stop till you’ve come at least once!
Want more lovers’ masturbation tips? Check out “Masturbation for Lovers.”

Note: “Sex for One for Two” originally appeared in a slightly different form in the January 2004 Fatale Media newsletter.