G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

Hi Deborah,
My partner of two years has always ejaculated freely and has been a bit despondent that she was not “normal”—her juices flow fantastically when I stimulate her g spot; we are now getting her equally excited with clitoral stimulation. On a recent holiday we made love on our balcony and she really let go and flooded the place!
 
My only concern with this is that, contrary to much reading on the subject, her juices do smell quite strongly of urine, and do stain my mattress quite badly. Should we be concerned? As the joy I get from pleasing her so is fantastic I want to do it to her all the time.
 
Regards,

U.K. Fan

Dear U.K. Fan,
It is not uncommon for ejaculate to occasionally smell like urine, and for some women, the smell of urine can be strong and ejaculate can leave stains on the sheets.

Sometimes a woman’s ejaculate is strong with urine during the second phase of her menstrual cycle. Another factor that can cause this is pushing too hard to try to ejaculate. 

It may be possible to curtail the flow of urine with some practice and an acute awareness of the sensation of ejaculating versus the sensation of urinating. This may take a while—a year or more—to master, and it may not work in all cases.  However, I believe the urine can be decreased by lessening forceful pushing out and with more physical awareness of the difference between body fluids.

A gentle reminder, as well, to you that although female ejaculate is exciting to you and you want to do it all the time, please remember that women’s bodies are indeed delicate and perhaps too much stimulation and her trying to please you with more and more ejaculate could also be causing her to push too hard and too often.

Female ejaculate is best enjoyed when it flows easily from the body as a shower of love and connection and joy…and for a woman, a balcony would be just the thing….

Deborah

For more advanced tips on how to female ejaculate, check out Deborah Sundahl’s new DVD, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop.

Dear Fanny
My wife has been just learning [to female ejaculate] and can’t fully get it to spray yet, but she does have it come out, but not a lot yet. It’s all new to us so far.

Signed,

Tony in New York

Dear Tony in New York,
Congratulations! Your wife is ejaculating!  I’d love to hear from her how that feels, but I can guess it feels tremendous.

Not all women spray out, or even want to spray out if they can. Most women just “gush” and this “gushing” amount is sometimes overlooked as excessive vaginal lubrication. For sure, it is still ejaculation, because the amount of ejaculate has nothing to do with the act of ejaculating.

So therefore, your wife is definitely ejaculating. The quantity of ejaculate can increase over time - a few years - as a woman learns to feel comfortable with ejaculating, and also integrates ejaculating into her normal lovemaking routine. So, perhaps over time you MAY find this lovely spray upon your arms and chest - smile - but for now, celebration is in order!

I say MAY because not all women will arc out, and remember, many women cannot arc out or even ejaculate if there is something in their vagina at the moment of ejaculation, so let your penis, fingers or toy come out of her vagina when she starts to push out the ejaculate.

Good luck!

Deborah, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale
P.S. See Deborah’s latest DVD, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop.

G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

This month, she’ll be in Europe, so we thought we’d share her schedule with you. If you’re in the neighborhood, stop by and hear Deborah speak about female ejaculation and the G-spot. She also does private counseling with women and couples.

May 4, 2008
7:00-11:00 pm
“Tantra and Female Ejaculation”
Lecture Open to the Public
(In English with German translation)
Toulouse Center
Hamburg, Germany
Pre-registration required.
Sponsor: No Guru
For more information, e-mail: info@no-guru.net

May 6, 2008
7:30-9:00 pm
“Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot”
Lecture Open to the Public
(In English with German translation)
Pro-familia
Hannover, Germany
Pre-registration required.
Sponsor: Liebhabereien
For more information telephone: (0)511 473 9974
Or e-mail info@liebhabereien.com

May 9-13, 2008
“Wild, Wet and Overflowing”
Female Ejaculation Workshop for Women
with Devaka Hoffmann and Deborah Sundahl
Freiburg, Germany
(In German with English translation)
Pre-registration required.
350 Euros plus food and lodging.

Information in English: Visit here.
Information in German: Visit here.
For more information, contact Devaka at (0)761-13 79 79 66
Or e-mail devaka@sinnliche-wege.de

May 30, 2008
Female Ejaculation for Women: “Masters’ Class”
London, England
(In English, German translation available.)
Pre-registration required.
Sponsor: Nikki Anderson
For more information, contact (0)2074 01 9880
Or e-mail: nixi71@yahoo.co.uk

PRIVATE COACHING SESSIONS
Book a private session with Deborah in these cities and dates:

GERMANY
Berlin - May 1-4
Hamburg - May 4-6
Hannover - May 6-7
Freiburg - May 7-9 and May 13-16

ENGLAND
May 27 - June 2

DENMARK, FRANCE AND SCOTLAND
May 17 - May 26

To schedule a session and for rates, contact Deborah: deborah@isismedia.org

Deborah will return in the next issue of the newsletter for Ask Fanny Q & A. Please write “Ask Fanny Question” in the subject line. Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.

Be sure to check out Deborah’s new DVD, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop.

G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

Dear Fanny,
Hello, I am a squirter and was wondering, how do I increase the projection of the squirt in distance and the liquid amount of my squirts? Is there something I can do to facilitate this amazing womanly feat? I do okay now…but I want to become a super squirter and squirt even farther. What are some tricks of the trade when it comes to squirting? Please do tell…I want to know…

Dawn, via e-mail

Dear Dawn,
You increase the projection of the ejaculate arch by lying on your stomach and by having nothing in your vagina that might obstruct the flow. The stronger your PC muscles, the farther you can shoot.

The amount of ejaculation usually increases over time, as women become used to ejaculating. Letting go completely will increase the amount of ejaculate, as will continuous stimulation. However, the latter’s amount is only increased over the course of a lovemaking session, not in one single ejaculate. There is also more ejaculate after ovulation and up to menstruation.

Are your aspirations professional? “Super squirter” and “tricks of the trade” make me think you wish to appear in porn films. If that is the case, most profuse ejaculators are pretty much born that way, just like popular male porn stars are born with large members. You can attempt the suggestions above, and see what happens.

But overall, each woman’s capacity and preference for ejaculating with exuberance and skill varies, quite naturally, among individuals.

Good luck!

Fanny

Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.

Be sure to check out Deborah’s new DVD, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop .

G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

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Dear Fanny,

You mentioned the “Crystal Wand” in your book. I’m looking to purchase one, but I’m having a hard time finding any advice on how to use it. Can you tell me the proper technique?

Thanks,
Bryan in Michigan

PS: Thanks to your book, I’ve helped my last 2 girlfriends ejaculate!!!

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Dear Bryan,

Well, congratulations on helping women to ejaculate!

Because the Crystal Wand is lucite, please make sure it is always moist. It dries out quickly and when it’s dry, it hurts.

The best description of how to use the magic wand is in my video Tantric Journey. You can see quite clearly how Corrynna uses it to ejaculate.

But in general, use one curled end to slip behind the “tail” of the G-spot -the “back end” of the female prostate organ. Use the tip to push (prod and poke) toward the vaginal roof where the tail ends. Explore the “crevice” where tail ends and vaginal roof begins. The tip works nicely to find that one spot that is still sensitive in most women who are just learning to awaken their G-spots. Since it is a hard tool, don’t poke too hard.

If she doesn’t feel anything, she is numb there and needs to reawaken her sensations, which takes lots of time–sometimes years.

You use the 2-3 inches or so from the tip, to gently pull forward on the tail of the G-spot.

As with all toys and bodies, everyone is different. Not all women will feel the same. Different women have different desires and what they like done. And as with all techniques, best to get the general idea and then let the moment lead you.

Hope this helps!

Fanny

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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.

Be sure to check out Deborah’s new DVD, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop

G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

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Dear Fanny,

I’m curious to attend a workshop on female ejaculation, but what is it like? I’m wondering if it’s uncomfortable to be in a group and try to find your G-spot. Do I have to take off my clothes?

Signed,

Not Really Sure

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Dear Not Really Sure,

There are four reasons why some people have reservations about attending a workshop:

These are pretty scary reasons to not go to a workshop. But this is what really takes place at a workshop:

Rather than a workshop being a place to get hit on without consent, it is just the opposite. Privacy is paramount and respect for individual boundaries Rule Number One. You wear a sarong and all women have their private space within the group space; this boundary is first and foremost respected. Rule Number Two is that women do only what they feel comfortable doing.

For example, you wear a sarong, the room is kept comfortably warm and you can bring your own toys or not. The goal is to experience and learn in a congenial, safe atmosphere.

With the rules in place, most women feel extremely comfortable after a few hours and get swept up in the excitement of discovery with women who, just like them, are nervous and excited.

Fanny

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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.

Be sure to check out Deborah’s new DVD, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop, to see a workshop in action.

You know Deborah Sundahl from her monthly Q&A column, “Ask Fanny,” in these newsletters and blog postings at Fatale. She’s as committed as anyone we know to helping women (and their partners) understand female ejaculation, what it is and how every woman can ejaculate.

Deborah travels the world giving workshops with real-life women and couples. She works one-on-one in private workshops. She’s written a book, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot and three very successful DVDs, including her bestselling How to Female Ejaculate, still one of the most important educational titles on the subject.

Now she’s got a new one out that’ll knock your socks off. Filmed in France with utterly gorgeous women—the women in Paris are just gorgeous, let’s face it—Deborah directed this new DVD and also ran the workshop.

Don’t worry. It’s in English. No subtitles.

Check it out: Female Ejaculation: The Workshop.

We’ve been very lucky to have known Deborah since her days at On Our Backs and to have had her as a friend and confidante ever since. She’s educated us and cheered us on with everything female ejaculation and the G-spot. We hope you take the time to get to know her better too.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com

christi@fatalemedia.com

G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

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Dear Fanny,

Got the dvd on the gspot, but I’m confused…You say many women can’t ejaculate with something inside them… How do you play with it for them to ejaculate if that is the case? Please explain in simple man’s terms.

JB, via e-mail

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Dear JB,

Most women, but not all, find it difficult or impossible to ejaculate with something inside their vagina - at the moment of ejaculation. Some women ejaculate with a gush, but it is of course impossible to arc the ejaculate out of the body when close contact such as intercourse is occurring.

Therefore, you play with it - that is, stimulate the G-spot - before she ejaculates. Using toys, fingers, penis, you have ample time to play with the G-spot before the moment of ejaculation.

When you feel her G-spot engorge and swell, then withdraw your penis (or toy or fingers) and allow the ejaculate to flow.

Hope that was simple enough. Good luck.

Fanny

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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.

Be sure to check out Deborah’s new DVD, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop.

G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

This issue, Deborah is on vacation, so we thought we’d dig into the archives and recap Deborah’s most popular “Ask Fanny” columns:

Is Female Ejaculate Pee?

FE Must-Read Secrets

Fake Squirting

Is Bleeding Normal?

What is Tantric Sex?

Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.

Be sure to check out Deborah’s How to Female Ejaculate DVD for more information this important subject for all women.

G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

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Dear Fanny,

Since I turned 30 I’ve ejaculated a lot–maybe my previous girlfriends didn’t quite know how to reach my G-Spot–but sometimes it just doesn’t happen even when I masturbate. Is it possible female ejaculation is related to my cycle? When I can’t ejaculate it’s usually around my period.

Thank you for your good work!

A fan

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Dear Fan,

Female ejaculation doesn’t always happen for various reasons. A menstrual cycle could be one reason, but usually female ejaculation is mostly plentiful around the time of a woman’s period. It could be you unconsciously hold back during your period due to too much fluid being released from your body.

Another is the physical position women are lying in. Notice what position you are in when you do and don’t ejaculate. Another reason could be the sex toy or fingers… notice if you ejaculate when they are out of your vagina and if you don’t ejaculate when they are in your vagina.

Female ejaculate flows most easily when there is no expectation.

Rarely does any woman ejaculate all the time. I suggest letting go of having to ejaculate. We don’t want to put any kind of performance pressure on something that is inherently—at its source—an expression of love and joy. Better to spend the time self-pleasuring as a chance to love yourself, and let nature take its course.

Fanny

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Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.