Archive for the ‘Lesbian Life’ Category

Remembering

Thursday, January 1st, 2009

Some of our influences and friends who died in 2008 include –

Odetta
Blues and folk singer Odetta, whom we had the pleasure of seeing perform live in Upstate New York many years ago.

Paula Gunn Allen
Paula Gunn Allen, who inspired us with her Native American lesbian sensibility.

Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin (right)
Our friend Del Martin (right), the first woman to be married in California this past year.

Bettie Page
The exquisite Bettie Page, the source of inspiration for at least one performer in Fatale’s films.

Eartha Kitt
Eartha Kitt, whose purr was music to our ears.

These monumental women have inspired and spurred us through the years. We mourn their passing.

What’s the Matter with California?

Monday, November 17th, 2008

We were elated only a month ago when Connecticut became the third state to legalize gay marriage. Now four short weeks later, it’s the second state.

California voters vanquished the right to gay marriage in passing Proposition 8, overturning the state’s Supreme Court ruling in favor of gay marriage.

To Connecticut’s credit, voters there declined to pass a call for a constitutional convention in order to overturn gay marriage.

The Los Angeles Times asked last Tuesday in “Prop 8’s Battle Lessons” where the organized gay groups were before Election Day. Valid question.

Proposition 8 Protests in California
Barbara Davidson/Los Angeles Times

The streets are overflowing with protestors in Los Angeles, San Francisco and other towns and cities across California. People are angry. And what of the 18,000 gay and lesbian couples who have married in the months since the state’s Supreme Court ruling?

Equally disturbing were the anti-gay-marriage measures passed in Arizona and Florida. Florida went so far as to ban civil unions. Tough luck, Floridians, if you thought a civil union would give you the same legal rights as married people. The Florida measure flies in the face of religious arguments. This is pure homophobia.

In Arkansas, what the New York Times “a disturbing measure” was passed by 57% of the state’s voters. No kids for you, queers!

Dan Savage’s “Anti-Gay, Anti-Family” is worth reading.

Our favorite commentary, “Gay Marriage is a Question of Love,” comes from Keith Olbermann, in which he says, “This is about the human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it.”

Watch Keith’s valuable commentary here on MSNBC.

Gavin Newsom is no Harvey Milk. We need a new Harvey Milk, one of our own, on the issue of gay marriage. Are you out there?

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

Obama!

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

President-Elect Barack Obama

It’s a beautiful day. There’s a giddiness in the air. It’s as if we, as a country, are heaving a tremendous sigh of relief. We went to bed last night knowing we have our country back, knowing democracy is here again.

We don’t often talk politics, but this is a great day for all lesbians, queers, gays, trans, bi and open-minded straight folks. At last we are part of the conversation once again. At last we are permitted to sit at the table.

Last night, as we watched the electoral votes roll in for Obama, first we were laughing and high-fiving, then laughing some more, and suddenly we were crying. We knew this was history being made, right before our eyes.

Thank you to all who worked on Barack Obama’s presidential campaign. Thank you for the inspiration, and for spreading the inspiration and hope into every town and city in America. Thank you all our friends outside the U.S. who have supported us here in the States.

Deborah Sundahl shared this letter from Terje in Norway, owner of Cupido:

What a night! We didn’t go to bed before we got Barack’s speech 6.30 Norwegian time this morning. We spent the night with good friends, a delicious duck, good wines, fine champagne, CNN and the U.S. electoral map.

Greet all Americans from us and thank them for taking responsibility and spreading inspiration and hope.

Congratulations!

Halloween Fantasies

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

Is Halloween your favorite holiday? Is dressing up part of your wildest fantasies? Or maybe it’s just the profusion of candy and little trick-or-treaters at your door.

When we were kids, no grownups dressed up except one  holiday? Is dressing up part of your wildest fantasies? Or maybe it’s just the profusion of candy and little trick-or-treaters at your door.

neighbor lady who always dressed as a witch…in full regalia and green pancake makeup, one or two large warts on her nose. Scariest grownup we ever saw.

Of course, Wicked has become one of our favorite Broadway plays.

Here’s Christi’s Josephine Baker fantasy costume:

Josephine Baker

About a far a cry from Sarah Palin masks – sure to be popular this year – as we can imagine.

No matter what you think of Sarah Palin, the Republican Vice Presidential Beehive who’s now “dressing down” in jeans, Josephine Baker epitomizes sexy.

Sexy, sultry, playful. What’s your fantasy? 

If you could be anyone, anything at all, for Halloween, what would you be? Tell us here at the blog comments section. 

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

One Night StandP.S. One Night Stand got a fabulous review in AVN. Three and a half stars for Fatale’s latest DVD! Read the One Night Stand review.

P.P.S. You can pay securely at Fatale by credit card or with PayPal. And remember, you get free shipping when you order 3 or more DVDs. See all Fatale’s DVDs.

Dressing Up vs. Real Life

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

We’ve been corresponding for the last couple of months with an old friend and customer about women dressing as men.

Was this merely a passing fashion? Madonna, Annie Lennox, Salma Hayek, Geri Halliwell… The list goes on.

Aimee Mann June 2008

Even Aimee Mann has been known to wear men’s neckties. Here she is in a June 2008 performance at the Pabst Theater in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Celebrities – women in particular – change their looks and images all the time. They have to. And face it, these celebrities are all femmes. Even in menswear, they keep the makeup and earrings and women’s panties. Chances are good there are no jockey shorts under their getups.

Dressing up for your lover is fun. And dressing up for sex is a tradition in BDSM—one of our favorite sex costumes is that of Mistress Cobra in Full Load.

But real life is another matter. Most butches we know wear only men’s attire. This is not “women dressing in men’s clothes” the way Madonna and Annie Lennox have been known to do when the mood strikes.

Nan Kinney

For butches, menswear is a way of life. It is part of who they are, and Nan counts herself among them. Here is Phyllis Christopher’s head shot of Nan. Not quite the same look as Aimee Mann’s, is it?

Then we think of Ellen. She too wears men’s clothing. An out dyke, Ellen DeGeneres falls into both the Celebrity and Butch Dyke camps.

Categories morph. Mores change. What’s permissible now was not always the case. Passing women took huge risks in the last centuries. We love Madonna, but she had nothing to fear by gigging herself up in men’s garb.

Connecticut’s Queers Celebrate Ruling

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

Plaintiffs from the Connecticut Supreme Court Same-Sex Marriage Case 

Fred Beckham/AP 

Woo-hoo! Connecticut has become the third state in the U.S. to approve same-sex marriage. Connecticut follows Massachusetts and California in permitting same-sex marriage.

Read the New York Times report.

This is a victory for progress. “Civil unions” mean little when you’re face to face with bureaucracy or even just trying to answer a survey. Are you married, or not really?

We agree with Justice Richard N. Palmer, who said in part, “The institution of marriage carries with it a status and significance that the newly created classification of civil unions does not embody.”

As gays and lesbians who have already gotten married illustrate, we can live up to the responsibility of the institution of marriage as much as anyone. 

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

Praying Away the Gay?

Monday, September 15th, 2008

Pray Away the Gay…Heh Heh
Can you pray away the gay?

We’ve been asking some friends this question – not exactly a Gallop Poll-like sampling of individuals, but a mix nonetheless. Practicing Christians. Vietnam Vets. Southern-born ladies. Post Office workers. Just asking the people we’ve run into lately.

“Can you pray away psoriasis?” asked the Vet.

If you haven’t heard, the U.S. Vice Presidential nominee for the Republican Party this year is a woman named Sarah Palin. She worships at a church in Alaska and was taped giving a talk in which she referred to this “pray-away-the-gay” movement.

News to us. But, being gay, probably we wouldn’t have been their target audience. Intractable queers we are.

Still, when we think about it, there are at least two family members who we suspect have secretly prayed not to be gay. They both, if appearances bear out the truth, have succeeded at least in quashing their outward homo behavior.

But most of us know that praying not to be gay is laughable. It just doesn’t work!

Isn’t it possible that gays and lesbians were meant to add a little spice to an otherwise kind of boring evolutionary job?

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

On Our Backs

Friday, March 14th, 2008

We promised you a while back that we’d try to find out some more information about the status of On Our Backs. We have some good news.

As you may know, H.A.F. Publishing sold On Our Backs and Girlfriends magazines in 2004. You can still check out On Our Backs’ Web site, www.onourbacksmag.com, but both magazines ceased publishing at that time.

According to Heather Findlay, the publisher, she is “still considering relaunching both Girlfriends and OOB online.”

Until that time, if you want back issues of On Our Backs, you can order them for $8.95 per copy, which includes shipping. She has issues available from 1998 through 2004. Simply e-mail Heather with the subject line “OOB Back Issue.” Heather’s e-mail address is hfindlay at hafpublishing.com (her address is written out here for security).

Want to know more about the history of On Our Backs, how it was founded by Nan and her partner at the time, Deborah Sundahl, and edited by Susie Bright? Check out Susie’s loving history here: http://susiebright.blogs.com/History_of_OOB.pdf

Fatale started as an offshoot of On Our Backs. We care about On Our Backs because our histories are forever entwined. There’s more about Nan, On Our Backs and Fatale here under “Who We Are and What We Do”: http://www.fatalemedia.com/about.html

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan and Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

The Strapon Issue

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Are strap-ons an issue? You might wonder. Since the advent of Bend Over Boyfriend, straight folks are really getting into the idea of women strapping it on for men’s anal pleasure. But lesbians and strapons go way back. (Some people spell strapon as one word; some use a hyphen.)

Each of us has a different memory of our first encounters with strapons. Femmes didn’t used to strap on at all, or hardly ever–strapons were the purview of butches–but Jackie and Shar and a whole generation of women said, “Screw that!” They’ll strap it on when and where they want to.

When Suburban Dykes was released, Miss Sharon Mitchell showed up wearing a terribly sexy strap-on, the epitome of the butch top who taught those girls a thing or two.

Are strap-ons a distraction? They can be for those who aren’t familiar or comfortable with them, but for those of us who like the sensation, the passion only increases. There’s nothing quite like a romp with that strap-on to help ease the way.

What was your first encounter with a strap-on? Tell us your story here.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

Sex Tips & Tricks: How to Strap On

Friday, February 29th, 2008

We received an interesting letter from a reader who asked, “I have a question about strapons. Is it possible for a woman to wear a strapon underneath her pants or jeans, as long as they’re not too tight? I’ve seen pics of boyshorts for women at Victoria’s Secret that might enable a woman to wear a strapon. But I wanted to know for sure. Could a strapon fit into a woman’s underwear and pants? Would it depend on the size of each item?”

Carol Queen does a great job showing women how to strap it on in Bend Over Boyfriend, and lesbians have many, many role models in lesbian DVDs.

Here are some more strap-on tips:

— Buy a strapon that fits you. If you’re lucky enough to live in a city with a sex-toy store, go there and try on the harness in the dressing room…over your underwear. If you don’t live near a store where you can shop in person, go to a reputable Web site, look around and be sure to check their returns policy. Check out Toys in Babeland’s “How to Choose a Harness” page here.

— If you intend to wear it under jeans or pants, make sure the pants are big enough and have enough give in the butt so that you don’t get the equivalent of panty lines…in this case, strap-on lines.

— You can wear a strapon underneath or over your underwear, but we don’t recommend wearing a strapon with a thong or g-string because the straps can get caught in the thin fabric.

Strap it on tight! This is important. The strapon needs to sit flat against your skin or underwear.

— If you’re packing–wearing the strapon with a hard or soft dildo–pick a dildo that’s small enough so that your jeans or pants don’t feel too tight. You want to consider if you’re going out in public too. Do you want everyone to see a long hard schlong down your leg? Or don’t you care? As long as you can walk comfortably, suit yourself.

— If you’re packing underneath a pair of underwear, consider wearing boxer shorts or men’s underwear, which has a place for you to pull out your piece and display it. If and when you’re ready, that is.

— Some women like something inside them while wearing a strapon, but in our experience, this is the exception. Those internal muscles are necessary for making love to your partner. Enjoy the clitoral stimulation, and the sheer excitement of sex with a strapon–pleasing your partner.

Experiment! Most women have more than one harness and use them for different purposes, and to suit their moods. Two-strap harnesses give flexibility, but you might want to try a one-strap harness. You might have a favorite dildo for a girlfriend and another one for packing and hot dates at the local bar.

To see how several different couples make love with strapons, check out Full Load: Scenes from ssspread.com.