Archive for October, 2008

Halloween Fantasies

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

Is Halloween your favorite holiday? Is dressing up part of your wildest fantasies? Or maybe it’s just the profusion of candy and little trick-or-treaters at your door.

When we were kids, no grownups dressed up except one  holiday? Is dressing up part of your wildest fantasies? Or maybe it’s just the profusion of candy and little trick-or-treaters at your door.

neighbor lady who always dressed as a witch…in full regalia and green pancake makeup, one or two large warts on her nose. Scariest grownup we ever saw.

Of course, Wicked has become one of our favorite Broadway plays.

Here’s Christi’s Josephine Baker fantasy costume:

Josephine Baker

About a far a cry from Sarah Palin masks – sure to be popular this year – as we can imagine.

No matter what you think of Sarah Palin, the Republican Vice Presidential Beehive who’s now “dressing down” in jeans, Josephine Baker epitomizes sexy.

Sexy, sultry, playful. What’s your fantasy? 

If you could be anyone, anything at all, for Halloween, what would you be? Tell us here at the blog comments section. 

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi

One Night StandP.S. One Night Stand got a fabulous review in AVN. Three and a half stars for Fatale’s latest DVD! Read the One Night Stand review.

P.P.S. You can pay securely at Fatale by credit card or with PayPal. And remember, you get free shipping when you order 3 or more DVDs. See all Fatale’s DVDs.

Ask Fanny: Is It Female Ejaculation?

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

Deborah Sundahl - Female Ejaculation ExpertG-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

Do you have a question for Ask Fanny? Send it to

Dear Fanny,

I have an issue. When I masturbate and reach an orgasm, I ooze out and it’s thick and clear. Also there’s a massive volume of it. I do massage my g-spot and I don’t know why it’s like that, but when it happens it’s really intense. But mine doesn’t come out like water, nor does it squirt out. I know it’s not female lube; this only happens when I massage my g-spot and then cum. What is it? Is it still FE?


Dear Terry,

Female ejaculation is clear and watery. It doesn’t always arc out; often it just gushes or floods. Vaginal lubrication, as you stated, is thick, creamy and white.

Therefore, even though you are stimulating your G-spot, and it sounds as if you are having a wonderfully intense G-spot orgasm, you are not ejaculating. You are creating a large amount of vaginal lubrication.

Some women create copious amounts of vaginal lubrication. But you can tell it is from the vagina and therefore not female ejaculation, which emits from the urethra, because it is thick and white. You can’t always see the white by looking at it, but it is not clear and watery like female ejaculation.

Smell will help decide it for you. Female ejaculation smells fresh and light, basically odorless. Vaginal lubrication is heavier, with a slight, musky odor.


Female Ejaculation: The WorkshopFor tips on how to female ejaculate, check out Deborah Sundahl’s new DVD, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop.

Dressing Up vs. Real Life

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

We’ve been corresponding for the last couple of months with an old friend and customer about women dressing as men.

Was this merely a passing fashion? Madonna, Annie Lennox, Salma Hayek, Geri Halliwell… The list goes on.

Aimee Mann June 2008

Even Aimee Mann has been known to wear men’s neckties. Here she is in a June 2008 performance at the Pabst Theater in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Celebrities – women in particular – change their looks and images all the time. They have to. And face it, these celebrities are all femmes. Even in menswear, they keep the makeup and earrings and women’s panties. Chances are good there are no jockey shorts under their getups.

Dressing up for your lover is fun. And dressing up for sex is a tradition in BDSM—one of our favorite sex costumes is that of Mistress Cobra in Full Load.

But real life is another matter. Most butches we know wear only men’s attire. This is not “women dressing in men’s clothes” the way Madonna and Annie Lennox have been known to do when the mood strikes.

Nan Kinney

For butches, menswear is a way of life. It is part of who they are, and Nan counts herself among them. Here is Phyllis Christopher’s head shot of Nan. Not quite the same look as Aimee Mann’s, is it?

Then we think of Ellen. She too wears men’s clothing. An out dyke, Ellen DeGeneres falls into both the Celebrity and Butch Dyke camps.

Categories morph. Mores change. What’s permissible now was not always the case. Passing women took huge risks in the last centuries. We love Madonna, but she had nothing to fear by gigging herself up in men’s garb.

Have You Come Out? * Dressing Up?

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

In last month’s poll, we asked: Have you come out?

As we said in the last piece, categories morph. Things change. And you were right to say there weren’t enough categories. Amanda probably said it best:

“I selected the option that I’d come out to my partner (my husband) since it was the closest to accurate. My husband knows that I’ve always been bi-curious, as do some of my closest friends. None of my family does, however, and probably never will.

“It would have been nice to have a couple more options there.”

Thank you, Amanda, and those who e-mailed and posted their comments.

You can see all the results here.

This month we ask: Do you dress up for sex?

Vote now! The poll is on Fatale’s home page.

And we’ll give you the results next month.

Until then, we wish you dazzling hot sex.

Nan and Christi

Connecticut’s Queers Celebrate Ruling

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

Plaintiffs from the Connecticut Supreme Court Same-Sex Marriage Case 

Fred Beckham/AP 

Woo-hoo! Connecticut has become the third state in the U.S. to approve same-sex marriage. Connecticut follows Massachusetts and California in permitting same-sex marriage.

Read the New York Times report.

This is a victory for progress. “Civil unions” mean little when you’re face to face with bureaucracy or even just trying to answer a survey. Are you married, or not really?

We agree with Justice Richard N. Palmer, who said in part, “The institution of marriage carries with it a status and significance that the newly created classification of civil unions does not embody.”

As gays and lesbians who have already gotten married illustrate, we can live up to the responsibility of the institution of marriage as much as anyone. 

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi

Sex Tips: Learning to Enjoy the Bum

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

No, we’re not talking about your lover! But your butt, your behind, your bum, your rear, your tush.

Enjoying anal penetration comes naturally to some people. They “get it.” They just naturally relax and enjoy without a care in the world.

But anal sex doesn’t come easy for everybody. There is the taboo of touching, let alone probing, the anus. It’s a private place, to be sure, which makes it hard for some men and women to allow entry.

When Fatale released Bend Over Boyfriend ten years ago – yes, it’s the 10th anniversary of Bend Over Boyfriend, a cause for celebration – Carol Queen and her lover Robert Morgan showed how role reversal can spice up your sex life.

Women, too, can be skittish when it comes to their boyfriends touching or penetrating their rear ends.

When you’re ready to open up and enjoy this delicious sex act, there are some steps you can take to make anal sex a real pleasure:

  • Wash up before you begin any lovemaking. Make sure nothing hurts or is sore down there. If you ever see blood in your stool or coming from your anus, tell your doctor right away.
  • –Find pleasure in the familiar. Make love the way you always do. Treat your sweetie with kisses and caresses and find your comfort zone. Have as many orgasms as you like.
  • –Touch yourself first. Do you feel happy? Talk to your lover. Do you want to feel your partner’s gentle touch? Tell him or her exactly what the touch feels like.
  • –Remind yourself: Nobody’s going to hurt you. This is not about pain. This is about pleasure and exploring new sexual territory.
  • –Stop there. Wait for next time to go any further.
  • –Next time, repeat the process all over again. Only this time, using some water-based lubricant, allow your lover’s finger to come inside just a little bit.
  • –Stop there. Wait until next time to go any further. You can even take a break and wait a couple more times before you try a small dildo, with a condom and lots of lube, of course.

And if your partner is the one who is struggling with anal sex, go slow, be gentle, restrain yourself until your partner feels confident to take it to the next level. 

Ultimately, learning to enjoy anal penetration is about trust. You must trust each other for there to be true pleasure associated with anal sex. Or, we would argue, any other kind of sex. 

Bend Over BoyfriendCheck out Bend Over Boyfriend for more tips on how to enjoy anal sex.

The Crash Pad Gift Set – New!

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

You asked for it, and we agreed. Now you can save 10% and get free shipping when you order “The Crash Pad Gift Set.”

If you’ve been curious about The Crash Pad, try all three of these sexy lesbian DVDs! Your satisfaction guaranteed.

Dallas and Vai in The Crash Pad Series Volume 2If you already know about the “secret rendezvous,” check out The Crash Pad Series Volume 2. New and completely gratifying!

You can check out all Fatale’s DVDs here.

Until next time, we wish you dazzling hot sex.

Nan and Christi

Celebrate Coming Out

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Clay Aiken and Lindsay Lohan have finally come out publicly. And, it appears, on their own terms.

Even the New York Times’ Style section got in on the act on Sunday with “Out in Hollywood.” Nice pic, Ellen!

As one commenter noted in response to The Advocate’s article “Clay and Lindsay are Gay — Shock!”: “[O]ne should be allowed to self-identify. No one has the right to make that announcement for anyone else.”

We couldn’t agree more. All those queers still in the closet have a right to be there, just as each of us has a right to come out if and when we want to. We do understand that coming out is a luxury for those not living in tolerant circumstances. Hollywood is tolerant place.

Clay Aiken on the People Magazine cover“Clay felt that it was right to come out to get it off of his back. He felt the need to no longer live a lie. This goes for gay or straight. It does not have to be about being a homosexual,” says our friend Chuck in Louisiana.

“There are many who are not marriage material and are doing things to impress others,” he continued. “There are those who try to impress family members and friends.”

October 11, 2008, is National Coming Out Day here in the U.S.

Our friend Chris told Nan he wanted to wear her Take Her Down production T-shirt on that day! We’ll see if we can dig a clean one up for him.

However you celebrate National Coming Out Day, it’s worth remembering that those who don’t come out, who you just know are gay, probably have a reason for staying the closet.

We salute Hollywood stars and ordinary people alike for their courage in coming out.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi

P.S. You can pay securely at Fatale by credit card or with PayPal. And remember, you get free shipping when you order 3 or more DVDs. See all Fatale’s DVDs.

P.P.S. Highly recommended and Fatale’s top-seller for September, The Crash Pad Series Volume 2.

Ask Fanny – Fake Squirting in Videos?

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

This comment was originally posted last month in the “What is Squirting?” Ask Fanny Q&A. With Mariste’s permission, we posed the question to the FE Queen herself. 

Dear Fanny,

I have seen videos of this so called “squirting.” It all seems enormously fake. A woman rubs her pussy for less than 30 seconds and then liquid squirts out of her as if from a water cannon. How in the world does this happen? Do they rig her up somehow? Do they make her have a pussy enema and then she holds it in until it’s time to squirt on camera? I really want to know.


Dear Mariste,

Much is exaggerated in porn, because porn is a fantasy for the most part. However, it is true that many women “arc” when they ejaculate, and it is also true that the amount they ejaculate can be half a liter.

Although that is the extreme expression of female ejaculation, it is by no means rare or dramatized. Real women can gush that much fluid, and if they are on their back with no penis inside them, many women’s vaginal (pc) muscles are so strong, they can easily push the ejaculate across the room.

Whew! It is exhilarating to watch, and that is why you see so much showbiz fire hydrant female ejaculation in porn. Porn is a show, after all.

I can’t critique porn scenes on female ejaculation, but I’m quite certain that when female ejaculation becomes more accepted as a mainstream behavior, that the populace will be able to tell a fake from a real, so any shenanigans that the adult stars are doing now to ejaculate will no longer fly.

Meanwhile, I’ve spend my career making female ejaculation not only accessible to the average women, but real. It usually takes about 20 minutes (give or take 10 or so) for a woman to ejaculate. For sure all the stars who do ejaculate in 30 seconds have stimulated themselves for a while before you get to see the “cum shot,” as it is called in porn. This is what is called editing, my dear.


Female Ejaculation: The WorkshopTo see how to really female ejaculate, check out Deborah Sundahl’s new DVD:

Female Ejaculation: The Workshop.

Sarah Palin and Gays – Your Comments

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Two weeks ago, we wrote a piece about Sarah Palin, wondering if one could “pray away the gay.”

Here are snippets of some of our favorite comments you wrote:

“These days, I’m praying for gay to come my way…well at least a lesbian or two.”

“I’m a Republican however I’ve never been on a witch hunt for gender.”

“Being a BDSM oriented les, the only prayer I’d like to have answered would be of having Sarah Palin in my loving hands, so she can understand how beautiful a lesbian relationship can be, especially if spiced with leather and whips…”

The entire article and full comments are here: “Praying Away the Gay?”

What do you think? Add your comments here (just click “Comments”)!