Archive for February, 2008

The Strapon Issue

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Are strap-ons an issue? You might wonder. Since the advent of Bend Over Boyfriend, straight folks are really getting into the idea of women strapping it on for men’s anal pleasure. But lesbians and strapons go way back. (Some people spell strapon as one word; some use a hyphen.)

Each of us has a different memory of our first encounters with strapons. Femmes didn’t used to strap on at all, or hardly ever–strapons were the purview of butches–but Jackie and Shar and a whole generation of women said, “Screw that!” They’ll strap it on when and where they want to.

When Suburban Dykes was released, Miss Sharon Mitchell showed up wearing a terribly sexy strap-on, the epitome of the butch top who taught those girls a thing or two.

Are strap-ons a distraction? They can be for those who aren’t familiar or comfortable with them, but for those of us who like the sensation, the passion only increases. There’s nothing quite like a romp with that strap-on to help ease the way.

What was your first encounter with a strap-on? Tell us your story here.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi

Sex Tips & Tricks: How to Strap On

Friday, February 29th, 2008

We received an interesting letter from a reader who asked, “I have a question about strapons. Is it possible for a woman to wear a strapon underneath her pants or jeans, as long as they’re not too tight? I’ve seen pics of boyshorts for women at Victoria’s Secret that might enable a woman to wear a strapon. But I wanted to know for sure. Could a strapon fit into a woman’s underwear and pants? Would it depend on the size of each item?”

Carol Queen does a great job showing women how to strap it on in Bend Over Boyfriend, and lesbians have many, many role models in lesbian DVDs.

Here are some more strap-on tips:

— Buy a strapon that fits you. If you’re lucky enough to live in a city with a sex-toy store, go there and try on the harness in the dressing room…over your underwear. If you don’t live near a store where you can shop in person, go to a reputable Web site, look around and be sure to check their returns policy. Check out Toys in Babeland’s “How to Choose a Harness” page here.

— If you intend to wear it under jeans or pants, make sure the pants are big enough and have enough give in the butt so that you don’t get the equivalent of panty lines…in this case, strap-on lines.

— You can wear a strapon underneath or over your underwear, but we don’t recommend wearing a strapon with a thong or g-string because the straps can get caught in the thin fabric.

Strap it on tight! This is important. The strapon needs to sit flat against your skin or underwear.

— If you’re packing–wearing the strapon with a hard or soft dildo–pick a dildo that’s small enough so that your jeans or pants don’t feel too tight. You want to consider if you’re going out in public too. Do you want everyone to see a long hard schlong down your leg? Or don’t you care? As long as you can walk comfortably, suit yourself.

— If you’re packing underneath a pair of underwear, consider wearing boxer shorts or men’s underwear, which has a place for you to pull out your piece and display it. If and when you’re ready, that is.

— Some women like something inside them while wearing a strapon, but in our experience, this is the exception. Those internal muscles are necessary for making love to your partner. Enjoy the clitoral stimulation, and the sheer excitement of sex with a strapon–pleasing your partner.

Experiment! Most women have more than one harness and use them for different purposes, and to suit their moods. Two-strap harnesses give flexibility, but you might want to try a one-strap harness. You might have a favorite dildo for a girlfriend and another one for packing and hot dates at the local bar.

To see how several different couples make love with strapons, check out Full Load: Scenes from

Selected DVDs with Strap-ons

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Here are some of the more explicit DVDs with strapons.

Straight videos:
Bend Over Boyfriend– Carol Queen gives very clear instructions
Bend Over Boyfriend 2
– More rockin’, less talkin’

Lesbian videos:
The Crash Pad Series Volume 1 – New from Shine Louise Houston
Full Load: Scenes from – Vignettes and explicit strapon scenes
Hard Love and How to F*ck in High Heels – Lots and lots of dildos in all different colors
Suburban Dykes – A classic with Nina Hartley

Q&A: Ask Fanny – Crystal Wand

Friday, February 29th, 2008

G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

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Dear Fanny,

You mentioned the “Crystal Wand” in your book. I’m looking to purchase one, but I’m having a hard time finding any advice on how to use it. Can you tell me the proper technique?

Bryan in Michigan

PS: Thanks to your book, I’ve helped my last 2 girlfriends ejaculate!!!

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Dear Bryan,

Well, congratulations on helping women to ejaculate!

Because the Crystal Wand is lucite, please make sure it is always moist. It dries out quickly and when it’s dry, it hurts.

The best description of how to use the magic wand is in my video Tantric Journey. You can see quite clearly how Corrynna uses it to ejaculate.

But in general, use one curled end to slip behind the “tail” of the G-spot -the “back end” of the female prostate organ. Use the tip to push (prod and poke) toward the vaginal roof where the tail ends. Explore the “crevice” where tail ends and vaginal roof begins. The tip works nicely to find that one spot that is still sensitive in most women who are just learning to awaken their G-spots. Since it is a hard tool, don’t poke too hard.

If she doesn’t feel anything, she is numb there and needs to reawaken her sensations, which takes lots of time–sometimes years.

You use the 2-3 inches or so from the tip, to gently pull forward on the tail of the G-spot.

As with all toys and bodies, everyone is different. Not all women will feel the same. Different women have different desires and what they like done. And as with all techniques, best to get the general idea and then let the moment lead you.

Hope this helps!


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Send your questions to

Be sure to check out Deborah’s new DVD, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop

Being in Control * Strap-on Turn-on?

Friday, February 29th, 2008

You can comment on any story in the newsletter. You should still feel free to e-mail us, but we encourage you to share your stories and experiences with others at the blog.

In last month’s poll, we asked: Do you like to be in control during sex?

We left out an option–for switches! And here’s a good comment from a reader that addresses this issue:

I identify as a switch, so I like both to top and bottom. However, as I don’t often find anyone who can successfully top me, I usually end up topping by default. My last partner was a switch with the same problem. We had the most wonderful & amazing sexual chemistry together, though, and managed to top and bottom with each other in very hot, sweet and sexy scenes.”

See all the results here.

This month we ask: This month we ask: Do strap-ons turn you on?

Vote now! The poll is on Fatale’s home page.

And we’ll give you the results next month.

Until then, we wish you dazzling hot sex.

Nan and Christi

Valentine’s Day Greetings

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

Not everyone loves Valentine’s Day, but for us romantics, it’s a perfect excuse to give flowers and chocolate, heart-shaped cookies decorated in red and white frosting and, of course, to exchange Valentine’s cards.

When we were kids, everyone in school made Valentine’s Day cards for their classmates. We suspect they still do, but everything changes once you’re really in love. Valentine’s Day becomes a midwinter break, and in fact the holiday was fused from the celebration of spring in Italy. (We read the whole history here at The History Channel.)

After intending to stay home and cook up a romantic dinner, we’ve now got new plans! Instead, we’ll be making our own whoopee at our favorite hotel on Valentine’s night. Surprise, surprise! This was Nan’s idea, and terribly romantic! An intimate dinner with just the two of us, some serious butch/femme flirtation, and a sexy DVD up in the room…

We’re still going to be watching Sugar High Glitter City, but we’ll also bring along Shine Louise Houston’s DVD, The Crash Pad Series Volume 1.

They’re both sexy as all get-out, and inspiring. We can’t wait.

What are you doing this Valentine’s Day? You can tell us here.

Happy Valentine’s Day!
Nan & Christi

Your Letters

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

Dear Nan and Christi,

I am curious about what happened to On Our Backs Magazine. Is it still available? I haven’t been able to order it on their site or find it anywhere else. Thanks!

BTW, Fatale Media is wonderful 🙂

Thanks for doing what you do.

Grand Rapids, Michigan


Dear Sarah,

You’re not alone in missing On Our Backs magazine, “Entertainment for the Adventurous Lesbian.” Founded in 1984 by Nan and Deborah Sundahl, On Our Backs broke all the rules—real lesbian porn for real lesbians. Fatale got started not long after that, in 1985, and was intimately tied to On Our Backs until 1994, when the magazine was sold.

Susie Bright, On Our Backs’ most visible editor (she was editor from 1984-1991), has written a fabulous tribute to the magazine, with lots of pictures from the original issues. Read it here:

When it was last publishing magazines, H.A.F. Publishing owned both On Our Backs and Girlfriends, which H.A.F. sold to a place called Underground Networks in San Francisco. Nothing has changed on the site since 2006, when the sale completed. There have been no updates.

We wrote and called Alice Hill, founder of Underground Networks and RealTechNews. It so happens she’s also a fellow alumna of Christi’s from Sarah Lawrence College. We want to know the status and plans for continuing On Our Backs. We haven’t heard back from her yet, but stay tuned.

We also put in an e-mail to Heather Findlay at H.A.F. Publishing, to see if she still has back issues of On Our Backs for sale. If she does, we’ll let you know.

Want to see what those “adventurous lesbians” were doing when they weren’t posing for On Our Backs? Check out Pepper and Reeva in Hungry Hearts and Pepper, Nina Harley and Miss Sharon Mitchell in Suburban Dykes, still Fatale bestsellers. And romantic too!

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan and Christi
Fatale Media

Romance Counts

Friday, February 1st, 2008

Valentine’s Day arrives in less than two weeks—picture Eros with his arrow of love getting ready to zoom into your life for a day. Are you ready?

Romance counts. It makes the hard times softer, easier to get through. In any relationship, ours included, wooing keeps love alive. The thrill of the chase may be just beginning or already over, but the extra courtesies and kind gestures that fuel romance also fuel abiding love for each other. Valentine’s Day is a day to remember and honor romance.

So if you haven’t already, now’s the time to plan a wonderful, romantic Valentine’s celebration. Perhaps it’s flowers and chocolate and an evening out on the town. Perhaps it’s a long weekend at a romantic getaway.

And if for some reason you have to be alone, treat yourself to an evening you’ll remember. Do something different. Try something you’ve never done before. Do something you’ve promised yourself you would.

We’re going to be staying home on Valentine’s Day. We’ll cook a special dinner—perhaps lamb chops with a salad of red lettuce and a lemony vinaigrette. There’s a chocolate ganache cake we both love. Decorated with raspberries, it’ll be the perfect accompaniment to watching Sugar High Glitter City, our favorite sexy movie to watch when romance comes knocking on Valentine’s Day.

What’s your Valentine’s Day romance quotient? You can comment here.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi

Sex Tips & Tricks: Lingerie, Part 2

Friday, February 1st, 2008

Judging from the January 2008 poll, there’s an even division between those who wear lingerie “all the time” and those who never wear it.

A lot of guys don’t like to wear lingerie, although New York’s former mayor Rudy Giuliani posed like a diva in lingerie. And regardless, lingerie is usually a hit when guys squeeze themselves into a little corset, fishnet stockings and garter belt.

For sex, lingerie can add a dollop of romance and make what might otherwise be ordinary sex extraordinary. Even keeping on a lacey black brassiere during sex gives an exquisite tactile sensation for both you and your partner. (more…)

Valentine’s Day Shipping Schedule

Friday, February 1st, 2008

Be sure you get your Valentine’s Day gifts on time! Order within the U.S. by Monday, February 11, 2008, and you’ll get it via regular Priority Mail in time to surprise your sweetie.

See the whole shipping schedule here.

For Valentine’s Day, check out these two new DVDs available at Fatale now:

Female Ejaculation: The Workshop by Deborah Sundahl

The Crash Pad Series Volume 1 – lesbian action that’s steamy hot!

See all Fatale’s specially priced gift packages perfect for Valentine’s Day here.