We were heartened to read an article the other day in the Washington Post, “Seniors Having More Sex Than Ever” by Alan Mozes.

The senior set—those men and women in their late sixties, seventies and beyond—have increased not only the frequency of sex, but also the quality of their couplings, according to a Swedish study. This study has been ongoing for 30 years, so there’s a strong basis for comparison.

“Women seemed to make the most headway in terms of increasing their sexual satisfaction,” according to the article. While the study doesn’t go into the whys of this newfound satisfaction, we can take a stab at why women are more satisfied.

For one thing, much more information is out there about female ejaculation and the role of the G-spot in spurring women’s satisfaction. Educators like Deborah Sundahl have been teaching women old and young how to find their g-spots.

Couples, we’ve found, are more adventurous, too. Bend Over Boyfriend, now celebrating its 10th anniversary, has worked for tens of thousands of couples who want to spice up their sex lives.

Gone are the days when men had no options for increasing their virility, and gone are the days when widows and married women just didn’t feel like it. We say kudos to those sexy seniors!

Now, if only next time they’d talk to senior lesbians and gay men. We bet there’d be some real “senior moments” from the queer set!

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

Curious how to bend over your boyfriend? Check out Bend Over Boyfriend.

Amid a sex scandal that has New York reeling, Governor Eliot Spitzer has resigned. We were most curious about comments cited in the New York Times this week.

Governor Spitzer was called “difficult” by Temeka Lewis, one of the bookers at the Emperor’s Club. He asked the prostitutes “to do things you might not think were safe,” according to Ms. Lewis.

Kristen, the hooker in question, didn’t have a problem with the governor’s requests, though, and in fact liked him. According to the court papers, Kristen said to him, “Listen, dude, you really want the sex?”

Which got us wondering…What kind of sex did Governor Spitzer want that made it appear “difficult”? Is he a bottom? Of course it’s a stereotype, but people in positions of power, people who get off on law and order, people at the top, in our experience they like taking it lying down now and then. Maybe Kristen’s really a good dominatrix waitrix.

And then we thought, perhaps he likes it up the butt. Hmm. Is he a bend-over-boyfriend kind of guy?

What do you think? Click “Post a comment” and let us know!

Nan and Christi

Are strap-ons an issue? You might wonder. Since the advent of Bend Over Boyfriend, straight folks are really getting into the idea of women strapping it on for men’s anal pleasure. But lesbians and strapons go way back. (Some people spell strapon as one word; some use a hyphen.)

Each of us has a different memory of our first encounters with strapons. Femmes didn’t used to strap on at all, or hardly ever–strapons were the purview of butches–but Jackie and Shar and a whole generation of women said, “Screw that!” They’ll strap it on when and where they want to.

When Suburban Dykes was released, Miss Sharon Mitchell showed up wearing a terribly sexy strap-on, the epitome of the butch top who taught those girls a thing or two.

Are strap-ons a distraction? They can be for those who aren’t familiar or comfortable with them, but for those of us who like the sensation, the passion only increases. There’s nothing quite like a romp with that strap-on to help ease the way.

What was your first encounter with a strap-on? Tell us your story here.

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

We received an interesting letter from a reader who asked, “I have a question about strapons. Is it possible for a woman to wear a strapon underneath her pants or jeans, as long as they’re not too tight? I’ve seen pics of boyshorts for women at Victoria’s Secret that might enable a woman to wear a strapon. But I wanted to know for sure. Could a strapon fit into a woman’s underwear and pants? Would it depend on the size of each item?”

Carol Queen does a great job showing women how to strap it on in Bend Over Boyfriend, and lesbians have many, many role models in lesbian DVDs.

Here are some more strap-on tips:

– Buy a strapon that fits you. If you’re lucky enough to live in a city with a sex-toy store, go there and try on the harness in the dressing room…over your underwear. If you don’t live near a store where you can shop in person, go to a reputable Web site, look around and be sure to check their returns policy. Check out Toys in Babeland’s “How to Choose a Harness” page here.

– If you intend to wear it under jeans or pants, make sure the pants are big enough and have enough give in the butt so that you don’t get the equivalent of panty lines…in this case, strap-on lines.

– You can wear a strapon underneath or over your underwear, but we don’t recommend wearing a strapon with a thong or g-string because the straps can get caught in the thin fabric.

– Strap it on tight! This is important. The strapon needs to sit flat against your skin or underwear.

– If you’re packing–wearing the strapon with a hard or soft dildo–pick a dildo that’s small enough so that your jeans or pants don’t feel too tight. You want to consider if you’re going out in public too. Do you want everyone to see a long hard schlong down your leg? Or don’t you care? As long as you can walk comfortably, suit yourself.

– If you’re packing underneath a pair of underwear, consider wearing boxer shorts or men’s underwear, which has a place for you to pull out your piece and display it. If and when you’re ready, that is.

– Some women like something inside them while wearing a strapon, but in our experience, this is the exception. Those internal muscles are necessary for making love to your partner. Enjoy the clitoral stimulation, and the sheer excitement of sex with a strapon–pleasing your partner.

– Experiment! Most women have more than one harness and use them for different purposes, and to suit their moods. Two-strap harnesses give flexibility, but you might want to try a one-strap harness. You might have a favorite dildo for a girlfriend and another one for packing and hot dates at the local bar.

To see how several different couples make love with strapons, check out Full Load: Scenes from ssspread.com.

Here are some of the more explicit DVDs with strapons.

Straight videos:
Bend Over Boyfriend- Carol Queen gives very clear instructions
Bend Over Boyfriend 2 - More rockin’, less talkin’

Lesbian videos:
The Crash Pad Series Volume 1 - New from Shine Louise Houston
Full Load: Scenes from ssspread.com - Vignettes and explicit strapon scenes
Hard Love and How to F*ck in High Heels - Lots and lots of dildos in all different colors
Suburban Dykes - A classic with Nina Hartley

Sex is about giving. Whether it’s a one-night stand you just met at the bar or coffeehouse or your lover of dozens of years, if you don’t give, and learn to give, there’s no spice. Gratification comes in many forms.

Nan and Deborah founded On Our Backs in 1984 with the idea that the lesbian community had no porn for itself. In 1985 they spun off Fatale, then called Fatale Videos, now morphed into Fatale Media. You know this. But the original impulse was to give images of ourselves to the lesbian community.

(To read Cory Silverberg’s recent interview with Nan about Fatale, check out About.com.)

When the inimitable Shar Rednour came to Nan and said, “We’ve got to make this video…I want to call it Bend Over Boyfriend,” Nan said, “Absolutely!” Why shouldn’t the straight community have alternative images of themselves and what they really do in bed?

Each year at this time, we decide where to make a donation to organizations that make a difference in the world. This year, we’ll give donations to three, but one in particular we wanted to tell you about.

The Free Speech Coalition was founded in 1991 as the U.S. government tried harder and harder to shut down the adult industry. The Free Speech Coalition has been an industry godsend for Fatale, watching and monitoring the U.S. government regarding any attempts to close down purveyors of adult material; lobbying the U.S. government; fostering public communication and education; and when the need arises, going to court.

It wouldn’t be wrong to say that without the Free Speech Coalition, we wouldn’t be able to keep making porn and giving real images to the community—images of who we are and what we really do in bed. So for that, we are grateful.

Oh, and not to get too heavy here, we’ve also got a long list of goodies just for friends and family. Top of the list? Christi’s sister and her girlfriend are getting Shine Louise Houston’s The Crash Pad.

Tell us what you’re giving this year. You can comment here.

Happy Holidays!

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com

christi@fatalemedia.com

Anal sex for women who want to do their men has become a phenomenon since we at Fatale first produced Bend Over Boyfriend.

When you’re ready to open yourself up to anal eroticism, also known as pegging, there are a few tips you should know to maximize your pleasure—and your partner’s. (more…)