Archive for February, 2010

Savage, Anal and Bend Over Boyfriend

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

Dan Savage does it again with three good questions about anal sex.

We believe Anal Sex NOT My Bag in the first question needs to explore Bend Over Boyfriend!!

Snip: “We’re not terribly adventurous, but we’re not totally vanilla, either. However, there is one issue that is driving me insane: My husband constantly pesters me to have anal sex. We have tried it in the past, and it is NOT my bag. I don’t enjoy it AT ALL.”

Read Dan’s whole column here:

We say, tell your husband to bend over and take a dose of his own desire!


Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

We hope you had a nice, romantic weekend, perhaps a long one like we took, to honor Presidents’ Day here in the U.S.

We started the weekend out slow, watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Vancouver on TV, talking with friends back in New York and Washington, D.C., who were still digging out of the snow.

Valentine’s Day was lovely. Instead of fighting for a spot at one of our favorite restaurants, we decided to make our own romance at home. We lit new candles, dressed up the table and opened a bottle of sparkling wine we’d been saving for just this occasion.

Nan gave Christi beautiful pink and red long-stemmed roses.

Christi baked Nan’s favorite cake, a chocolate sponge cake that seems light as air when you take your first bite.

Here’s the recipe for Julia Child’s chocolate sponge cake , also called Le Marquis. We don’t frost it, preferring just to sprinkle some powdered sugar on top.

Yes, it is terribly romantic to feed each other this delightful, simple chocolate cake. Which of course led to even more romance…in the bedroom

Yes, it was pure indulgence.

Today, we wish we were in New Orleans, celebrating Mardi Gras, eating King Cake and joining the party!

Till next time, yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi

P.S. There’s a great food scene in Hungry Hearts, where Pepper and Reeva feed each other strawberries, which would also be good on this chocolate cake! And in Queer Manor, the cupcakes come out to the tune of “Let them eat cupcakes!”

Ask Fanny – Odorless and Colorless?

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Deborah SundahlG-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot. You may send your questions to; please put FE Q&A in the subject line.

Dear Fanny,
I think I have experienced a clear and odorless ejaculation before, but more noticeable are the ones where I feel they have an odor (only because of how my partner smells afterward). I think when it happens, I feel no control because of the intensity. I’m not sure if I’m pushing too hard when it happens. Like I said, I don’t think I have control when it happens. But I have “pushed” quite hard before and no fluid is released. There are other times I experience a vaginal orgasm though and nothing comes out! It seems to be at random.

Maybe it’s just best to empty my bladder before sex at all times and just leave it at that? I know that female ejaculation is a mixture of different fluids that could include urine.

All the best,


Dear Stephanie,
No, female ejaculate does not include urine. Female ejaculate is mostly prostatic fluid and some glucose.

The noticeable ejaculations would be the ones that smell like urine. So, let’s back up a step. To the non-urine ejaculations! You are ejaculating! Congratulations!

Now, going from there, you say that sometimes your ejaculate smells like urine, when you have an intense orgasm, and you don’t feel yourself ejaculate. That is when it smells mostly like urine, correct? Therefore, you are pushing hard, but not consciously. It’s just the nature of the intensity—in all likelihood.

With intensity and with pushing hard, or both at once, I have noticed that this is the situation when some women experience urine in their ejaculate. I am not sure why that is, but now I am suspecting weak PC muscles. Try doing more Kegel exercises for a few months and see if that helps.

Of course, if you are new to ejaculation, don’t worry about the urine right now; worry about understanding your body and this ejaculation phenomenon, okay? Cut yourself a little slack right now. I have noticed a type of personality that approaches female ejaculation with a dose of worry. Also, I’ve seen performance-oriented women who experience this urine in their ejaculate, and then they worry about it. Maybe relax a bit. Don’t try so hard.

As for pushing out and nothing comes out, many women cannot ejaculate with something in their vaginas! Is this happening? Also, you may be trying too hard, and this can cause a “misfire.”

Please be good to yourself and let this process unfold a bit more. Also, thank your partner for the amazing orgasms you are having that cause you to ejaculate, and ask him to be patient while you figure out the urine leakage problem.

Most of all, I want you to focus not on the bad, but the good. Focus on the times your ejaculate is clear and refreshing! Celebrate, please! For from this vantage point you will learn the most about how to clear up the other problem.

Best to you,

Want to find out more about female ejaculation? Check out Deborah Sundahl’s popular sex-education DVD Female Ejaculation for Couples and her equally popular book, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot.

Top Romance DVDs

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Here are the top sellers for February 2010…with a huge dose of Valentine’s Day romance included – don’t miss ‘em!

1. Bend Over Boyfriend Gift Set. Includes the best-selling Bend Over Boyfriend and Bend Over Boyfriend 2. A great gift for adventurous couples!

2. Bend Over Boyfriend. Probably the most important educational video about female-on-male sex.

3. Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels. Still the number one lesbian DVD from S.I.R. Video. Hard-loving, butch-femme pure passion.

4. Coming Home by Carolyn Caizzi. Sweet and lovely, starring a real-life lesbian couple. Named “Best Lesbian Porn” by

5. One Night Stand by Emilie Jouvet. Shot in an underground Paris club, this lesbian vid was voted “Sexiest Lesbian Movie” by the Feminist Porn Awards. Ooh-la-la.

See all Fatale’s DVDs.

What’s Romance?

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Just a reminder to put in your two cents to this month’s poll question: What’s romance to you?

Vote now! The poll is on Fatale’s home page.

And we’ll give you the results next month.

Until then, we wish you dazzling hot sex!

Nan and Christi

Happy Valentine’s Day

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

With all love from Christi & Nan. May your Valentine’s Day be exactly what you wish and hope it will be.

Gifts for Your Sweetie

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

Don’t forget your sweetheart this Valentine’s Day! It’s not too late, and it’s easy at Fatale Media. Free gift-wrapping and free gift cards make your gift-giving simple…so you can put all your love where it belongs.

Order today to ensure your gift’s arrival by Valentine’s Day!

Top sellers this Valentine’s Day?

Bend Over Boyfriend Gift Set





#1 – Bend Over Boyfriend Gift Set – the best-selling series on how to give your boyfriend sweet anal love





#2 – Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels – passionate hardcore butch-femme sex

Coming Home by Carolyn Caizzi





#3 – Coming Home – sweet lesbian romance

Order today to make sure your package arrives no later than Saturday, February 13th.

Then, relax and celebrate true romance on Valentine’s Day, Sunday, February 14th.

Making Valentine’s Day Romantic

Monday, February 1st, 2010

Sex Expert Shar RednourBy Shar Rednour

Shar’s Confessions once again. I just like confessing to the Fatale audience. I don’t know why.

This article does include some tips for romance. I have been known as a lesbian romance and sex expert, giving advice for years. Let’s get down to it: there’s a line in the sand, my friends–the romantic planning people and the rest of us. Which side are you on? And which side is your love on? Yes, wake her up and read this to her.

For those of you who are just the best organizers and such romantic planners, why are you even reading this? YOU are the person who my wife, Jackie, points out to me, “Veronica is taking her love to Amsterdam.” “Denise has made her love a shadowbox full of ANTIQUED photos and is giving it to her on a ferry going under Golden Gate Bridge!!!”

I think I am being romantic when I remember to send her a nasty text for her lunch hour. Yes, laugh at me. Go ahead. I am laughing at myself. Sometimes even though I am the femme I relate to the guys on those daytime talk shows who think a fuck and buying you a glass of champagne is good enough. “Whaa?”

To be fair to myself, I should explain that oftentimes one’s weakness can be one’s strength because we are aware of it. I overcompensate to make up for my lack of natural romantic planning. Now, I call my friend Veronica and simply ask HER what’s she’s doing, then I copy it. Don’t tell Jackie.

But I am good at keeping intimacy and sex alive in a lesbian coupledom.

Please copy me and I won’t tell on this part.

1) Skip the Dinner
For Valentine’s Day most people go out for a fancy dinner. If you never get to go out and this is your big treat, then by all means go for it. For me, though, I find the fastest ticket to opening up and creating intimacy with your lover doesn’t always start with a heavy meal.

2) Plan where you can be intimate.
Do you live alone? Will you have the house to yourself? If not, instead of spending that money on a big meal, plan for a hotel. On the Internet these days you can get all kinds of bargains in your price range. Get a hotel even if you can’t take advantage of it for more than a couple of hours. And most importantly, get a room with a bathtub. Even if you get a cheap room, get one with a bath.

3) A) Plan sexy food. B) Plan after-sex food.
Obviously it’s freezing in most places so this is up to where you live. Get your and your love’s favorite appetizers. Wine, champagne, whatever drinks or smokes you want. Also water. For after sex, pick up something filling and yummy–your favorite comfort food. Couple of burritos, whatever. Keep them warm and hide them.

4) Pack the Love Bag.
If you are at home, get it all ready. Remember the lube, candles, sex toys, music, DVD player, favorite sexy movies, etc. If you can set up the hotel room ahead of time, without her there, all the better.

5) Pack the after bag.
Comfy clothes, favorite bath salts, lotion.

6) Thoughts and love.
Think ahead of what is special about her and about you two together. Write down your thoughts in a card. Picture how you are going to express yourself to her.

7) Make the Connection.
Start with your tasty bites…I meant the hor d’oeuvres but yes, nibble on her or offer your body for the nibbling. Don’t process the bad times or the old days or–especially if you are a new couple, please don’t process about your Ex! (See Hard Love for that.) Talk about what you like about yourselves as a couple and her and the future. Then start kissing. Don’t wait for her to start stuff. Go for it. Get in there. If you have time do a striptease for her or demand that she do one for you. Fuck your brains out. I mean it. ESPECIALLY if you are moms or caretakers or overworkers or or or not had sex in a while. FILL UP YOUR SEX GAS TANK!!!

Having sex creates vulnerability and also sets off excellent hormones and body responses that make us feel good. Being vulnerable creates a special bond between you and your love.

8 ) After sex and vulnerability.
Lay back and watch more porn, but this time pick out one with humor too. Like Sugar High Glitter City. No, not Lost. Sorry, that’s for a different night. Take a bath. Eat comfort food and get turned on again or laugh and discuss the positions. This time you might just kiss and kiss since your bellies will be full. 😉

Or you’ll be reenergized for round two.

Valentine’s Day Dread for Singles

Monday, February 1st, 2010

Shar RednourBy Shar Rednour

Jackie and I used to always have a big Valentine’s Day party every year with invitations that read “To Singles, couples, multiples that we like or that we will like once we meet you!” No Wendy Whiners allowed.

Many people hate or dread Valentine’s Day. It is made up by Hallmark, after all. Those very people loved our party. We put on the love for everyone. It was a great excuse to get dressed up and dance and hug and be schmaltzy and share the love. That whole couple Valentine’s Day article I wrote is actually what we do on our private anniversary. We always put on a public Valentine’s Day so that everyone has a good time sharing our fun and love.

I could write some fun and sassy masturbation or group-sex article. But actually I think that you should throw a Valentine’s Day party even if it’s small and for only a few people. We had a pink potluck party one year where everyone had to bring a pink food. Some of it was yummy; most of it was hilarious. My friend Patrick made a pink Jello mold creation from his mom’s 1973 recipe that we couldn’t stop laughing over and finally threw the leftovers out into the gutter in the San Francisco rain. IT NEVER MELTED! I walked past it for days, and it was still there jiggling!!!

If you want to take your party up a notch, make a porn potluck theme–Positions You Would Like to Try. Dyke Porn Stars You Would Like to Do.

Or play truth-or-dare porn. Watch Full Load or Special Delivery and get your friends to confess to what they have done, will do and would never do. The ideas are endless. The point is, anyone can stick her nose up at a created holiday and sit at home eating microwave popcorn, or you can decide it is a good time in the cold winter to have some laughs, share your affections with your friends and get heated up from the inside out.