A friend has been dating a woman for a few months. They took a long trip to China together, they’ve dated, and he has done everything “right.”

Lo and behold, a sad e-mail arrived the other day: “Our union is off.”

Union? What union? Were they thinking of getting married? Already?

Women need time. For as long as we’ve been lesbians (forever), this is one thing we know for certain.

A few months of dinners and movies and taking a trip, even a long one to China, is not enough time for her to feel secure in marriage.

But, you say, what about shotgun weddings? All those couples who get married right out of high school? All those women who get pregnant and marry in order to give their children a stable home?

We won’t deny that sometimes things move fast. But moving fast is not ideal.

Just as men don’t need nearly as much time in bed in order to orgasm, so too, in bed, most women need more time than men in order to orgasm.

Sure women can fake orgasms. Remember that scene in When Harry Met Sally?

But we women don’t want to fake orgasms. Women want real orgasms and real relationships and real romance.

Fanny Fatale has written extensively on men’s lovemaking habits in order to help them stimulate the g-spot and allow their lovers to ejaculate.

When we were watching The Crash Pad Series Volume 2: Unlocked, women take all the time they want in order to orgasm. Their partners indulge them and give them whatever they need or want. Why rush?

As in lovemaking, men need to go slow with women. Women need to go slow with women. That’s what romance is all about.

Is our take on all this one big generalization? Yes. Are there wide swaths of truth here? You tell us.

Vacations are a great time to experiment with your lover and try new things. Face it: You’re relaxed and happy and not strapped to your workload. When all defenses are down, then you can open up and enjoy. Orgasms you never thought were in you are free to come gushing out.

If you’re on your way out of town—to the beach or mountains or an island spa—or even if you’re just staying home this year, here are some suggestions to break out of the same-old, same-old mold.

• Get out of the bedroom. Especially if you’re on vacation, try the porch or veranda at night. And if you’ve never tried it, the bathtub can be fun. Even the laundry room has potential.



• Get out of the house. Romance your lover with a picnic just for two…or head to your local nightclub and find a dark corner.
• Reverse your roles. Never strapped on a dildo? Go for it, girlfriend. Always wanted to bend over your boyfriend? Get some more rockin’ inspiration with BOB2.
• Put on a show. Masturbate for your sweetie, or put on some sexy music and dance.
• Fulfill your deepest fantasy. Pick up a girl and try a threesome. We love the threeway in Shine Louise Houston’s In Search of the Wild Kingdom. A blast! 

What do you think? What new positions or sex tricks have you tried lately? Click “Post a comment” and tell us!

Yours in good love and sex,

Nan & Christi
nan@fatalemedia.com
christi@fatalemedia.com

By Fanny Fatale

Summertime fun means getting wet all over, so let’s get down to it, girls!

Here is the best position for female ejaculation in a large bathtub, hot tub, swimming pool or your local wilderness river (wee hours of the morn’, of course).

This idea arose from the French actresses in my new video, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop

We rented an old, restored hotel room in Paris that used to be a brothel, and the large, sumptuous tub spurred many a creative idea!

The lesbian scene stars French adult idol Lydia St. Martin and up-and-coming, HOT French lesbian adult actress Wendi Delorme. The scene they did in the bathtub for the camera (and our benefit) turned out to be optimum for both partner and student when learning how to female ejaculate.

The fun, however, isn’t just for newbies…

Sit up on the rim of a large bathtub while your partner is sitting in the bathtub in the water. Alternatives to a large bathtub are: edge of pool or hot tub, dock at the lake, kayak on land, incline of a riverbank. The elevated position of the woman about to ejaculate is ideal for the partner who is sitting – usually in various levels of water – because she can see her finger(s) rub the body of the g-spot.

But that’s only half of it. Your partner will actually be able to see the head of your g-spot being pushed out of the vagina when her queen on a special seat ejaculates! Why? Think eye level.

In addition, this is the best position to receive an “arc” of ejaculate right in the face and chest! A delightful reward for your partner’s patience and efforts to assist the fountainous favors to flow!

For those of you who follow my column “Ask Fanny,” we know that one of the biggest obstacles for women to ejaculate freely is not letting go, sometimes due to the fear of urinating.

Moving to a water source minimizes concerns that the woman trying to ejaculate might have about peeing. (This may not work for an urban setting, but if you are doing it near dawn on an urban curb, you probably are not the type who has to learn how to let go!)
 
But for the rest of you more reserved women who are first learning to ejaculate (and even for the diehard veterans) a good reminder is this: Recite your mantra: Prepare to Pee.

This motto works to remove the deeply embedded fear of peeing to help you learn to let go! To repeat: when a women’s G-spot is stimulated, it swells with prostatic fluid (female ejaculate). At that point, it is as difficult for a woman to pee as it is for a man when he is swollen and sexually excited. What is not difficult at that point for either a woman or a man is to ejaculate!

No watering hole? Go outside in the backyard and sit on a chair. Make sure it is a chair that won’t flop over backward when you are in the throws of orgasm, okay? That said, give your partner an eyeful while you sit on the edge of the chair and she sits on a picnic blanket on the ground. Hot afterwards? Drown yourself in a bucket of water à la Jennifer Beals in Flashdance.

To see Wendi and Lydia’s bathtub scene and female ejaculation, check out Female Ejaculation: The Workshop.

Want to see even more positions for fabulous female ejaculations? Check out my straight DVD Female Ejaculation for Couples. You’ll see lots and lots of good positions!

By Anactoria Jones, accomplished blogger and a true wit.

Rub a dub dub…

…three men in a tub. They tell this to children?

Remember the sex scene at the end Bull Durham with dozens of candles surrounding an antique claw-foot bathtub?

The bathroom is a wonderful place to refresh and relax, to soak away aches out of muscles and get in the mood. To actually have sex there it helps to prepare in advance: getting the right supplies ready makes the real moment go smoothly. Susan Sarandon’s character in that movie never muttered over a pack of wet matches. You can be sure she kept a Bic lighter within easy reach of that tub.

To recreate the Bull Durham magic try a pack of tea light candles. They’re easy to set up and create a magnificent glow. You can also transform mundane to extraordinary with a bouquet of rose petals floating in steaming water.

The tub can be the ideal place to shave a loved one’s pubic hair—it’s the easiest place to rinse off. The secret is to keep it comfortable. Try an inflatable cushion to comfort the neck and shoulders of the person being shaved, or for the person on the receiving end of oral sex in the bathtub. If you’ll be standing up while intertwined in the tub or the shower, use traction strips or a mat for a safe no-slip experience.

In case you transit to the bedroom (many do), tie up long hair with a scrunchy to keep it dry. Stock massage oils on the nightstand for sensuous post-bathing rubs. And have extra towels handy so the only puddles you leave on the sheets are the right ones.

To check out a fabulous bathroom scene, check out One Night Stand or the classic Bathroom Sluts.

From the director and star of Afterschool Special comes this special Sex Tips & Tricks column.

Superstar
by Royal Pink NYC Indie Band

Sure, we do it for the music. But who doesn’t love groupies? And the truth is, you don’t need to bother with booking gigs and lugging gear to play out a good, old-fashioned groupie scene. 

Time to get into character. If you’re the star, how about some tight, pleather pants à la Joan Jett? Or maybe you’re in more of a Stevie Nicks mood? Those floaty head scarves can come in handy if your groupie needs to be subdued. 

If you’re the groupie, are you going for a classy, Pamela Des Barres style? Or are you backstage at a Motley Crue concert, looking trashy with your teased bangs?  

Fingers and tongues are nice. But a flashy, glam rock dildo is a good idea, too. This one is silver glitter: http://store.babeland.com/dildos-silicone/woody

Are you experienced, dear groupie? Or is this your first time? Perhaps you just came out of the closet and are backstage at a Melissa Etheridge concert, desperate to show her how much the music has meant to you? 

Good groupies pride themselves on giving good head. While there’s plenty of advice out there on this subject, one essential component is often overlooked: enthusiasm. Beg for it, moan, rub yourself.  Stop for a second to say, “I can’t believe this is happening!  I’m your biggest fan!”   

Don’t forget to set the scene.  Are you backstage in a dressing room?  On a tour bus?  In a hotel suite?  No matter where you are, rock star protocol requires you to trash the place at least a little bit.   

This can also be a fun scenario to play in public. Scout out a bar or a restaurant with a one-seater and you’re set. “Meet me in the bathroom after the show…” 

Don’t forget that sometimes you have to fuck the roadie before you can even get backstage. Also, sometimes groupies bring a friend. 

A little bit of sleaze is mandatory for maximum authenticity. Did your groupie flash you from the front row, throw panties, beg you to sign a naughty body part? Do you videotape your tour bus conquests and screen them for your band mates later on? 

Groupies, never touch the gear without permission! That is, unless you want to get in big trouble. (And you just might…)

***

Royal Pink is the coolest girl band playing the LES in New York City. And don’t forget to check out their hot lead singer, Karen, who stars in and directs Afterschool Special.

It’s springtime here in the Northern Hemisphere, and we were thinking of flowers. How lovely the gardens are beginning to look, now that it’s April.

One of the most romantic women we know keeps pots of flowering plants year-round near her bathtub, an old porcelain behemoth that is deep and satisfying to just soak in alone. She hangs lace curtains in the window, which reminds us of Ireland, and keeps waterproof sex toys at hand.

Danger: Don’t bring your plug-in vibrator into the bath with you, okay? Very dangerous.

Old porcelain bathtubs held the heat of the water well. You didn’t get cold after ten minutes. But hey, we’ve got Jacuzzis and hot tubs, hot springs and even private spas now. The old ones also have straighter sides so you can sit up and play with yourself, or have your girlfriend finger your love spot until you come.

Water sometimes makes it hard to get properly lubed as quick as you would, say, on a bed. But take your time, and your natural juices will flow before you know it. You can also straddle your tub and let your girlfriend lie in the water underneath you. Very sexy indeed.

Some people prefer showers for sex, and the only thing we’re careful of while doing it in the shower is slipping and falling.  There’s a hot scene between the star oil wrestlers in Take Her Down.

Another sex-in-water sex flick we have is the classic Hungry Hearts. Pepper and Reeva have a great lovemaking scene in a sunken Japanese tub overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

So here’s the challenge: Send us your bathtub and shower sex scenes. We’ll select the best and post them on the site. If your flick is selected, we’ll call or e-mail you first, and you’ll need a model release if we use it. Just print it out and have your friends sign a copy before you shoot.

You can shoot on a camera, your cell phone or any other method that appeals to you.

And hey, if we do a new DVD, we’ll pay you for it too. See Real Lesbian Sex for more details on payment.

We received an interesting letter from a reader who asked, “I have a question about strapons. Is it possible for a woman to wear a strapon underneath her pants or jeans, as long as they’re not too tight? I’ve seen pics of boyshorts for women at Victoria’s Secret that might enable a woman to wear a strapon. But I wanted to know for sure. Could a strapon fit into a woman’s underwear and pants? Would it depend on the size of each item?”

Carol Queen does a great job showing women how to strap it on in Bend Over Boyfriend, and lesbians have many, many role models in lesbian DVDs.

Here are some more strap-on tips:

– Buy a strapon that fits you. If you’re lucky enough to live in a city with a sex-toy store, go there and try on the harness in the dressing room…over your underwear. If you don’t live near a store where you can shop in person, go to a reputable Web site, look around and be sure to check their returns policy. Check out Toys in Babeland’s “How to Choose a Harness” page here.

– If you intend to wear it under jeans or pants, make sure the pants are big enough and have enough give in the butt so that you don’t get the equivalent of panty lines…in this case, strap-on lines.

– You can wear a strapon underneath or over your underwear, but we don’t recommend wearing a strapon with a thong or g-string because the straps can get caught in the thin fabric.

– Strap it on tight! This is important. The strapon needs to sit flat against your skin or underwear.

– If you’re packing–wearing the strapon with a hard or soft dildo–pick a dildo that’s small enough so that your jeans or pants don’t feel too tight. You want to consider if you’re going out in public too. Do you want everyone to see a long hard schlong down your leg? Or don’t you care? As long as you can walk comfortably, suit yourself.

– If you’re packing underneath a pair of underwear, consider wearing boxer shorts or men’s underwear, which has a place for you to pull out your piece and display it. If and when you’re ready, that is.

– Some women like something inside them while wearing a strapon, but in our experience, this is the exception. Those internal muscles are necessary for making love to your partner. Enjoy the clitoral stimulation, and the sheer excitement of sex with a strapon–pleasing your partner.

– Experiment! Most women have more than one harness and use them for different purposes, and to suit their moods. Two-strap harnesses give flexibility, but you might want to try a one-strap harness. You might have a favorite dildo for a girlfriend and another one for packing and hot dates at the local bar.

To see how several different couples make love with strapons, check out Full Load: Scenes from ssspread.com.

Judging from the January 2008 poll, there’s an even division between those who wear lingerie “all the time” and those who never wear it.

A lot of guys don’t like to wear lingerie, although New York’s former mayor Rudy Giuliani posed like a diva in lingerie. And regardless, lingerie is usually a hit when guys squeeze themselves into a little corset, fishnet stockings and garter belt.

For sex, lingerie can add a dollop of romance and make what might otherwise be ordinary sex extraordinary. Even keeping on a lacey black brassiere during sex gives an exquisite tactile sensation for both you and your partner. (more…)

G-spot expert Deborah Sundahl, a.k.a. Fanny Fatale, answers your questions about female ejaculation and the g-spot.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Dear Fanny,

I’m curious to attend a workshop on female ejaculation, but what is it like? I’m wondering if it’s uncomfortable to be in a group and try to find your G-spot. Do I have to take off my clothes?

Signed,

Not Really Sure

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Dear Not Really Sure,

There are four reasons why some people have reservations about attending a workshop:

These are pretty scary reasons to not go to a workshop. But this is what really takes place at a workshop:

Rather than a workshop being a place to get hit on without consent, it is just the opposite. Privacy is paramount and respect for individual boundaries Rule Number One. You wear a sarong and all women have their private space within the group space; this boundary is first and foremost respected. Rule Number Two is that women do only what they feel comfortable doing.

For example, you wear a sarong, the room is kept comfortably warm and you can bring your own toys or not. The goal is to experience and learn in a congenial, safe atmosphere.

With the rules in place, most women feel extremely comfortable after a few hours and get swept up in the excitement of discovery with women who, just like them, are nervous and excited.

Fanny

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Send your questions to askfanny@fatalemedia.com.

Be sure to check out Deborah’s new DVD, Female Ejaculation: The Workshop, to see a workshop in action.

Giving good tongue is fun, but it’s even more fun when you’ve got something in your mouth while you’re going down on her.

Caution first: no hot spices or ground chili pepper of any kind, nothing too hot, nothing sharp, nothing small enough that you might accidentally choke on.

Fun things to put in your mouth:

Ice cubes are one of our favorites. You get the cool, slippery, crackly sensation of the ice cube in your mouth, and she gets the utterly clit-blasting experience of hot and cold at the same time. Keep the ice in your mouth and try licking the rest of her, too! (more…)